For what its worth, I always aim to please
by asdfghjklb
Summary: Damon Salvatore see's a girl crying at the grave of her bestfriend and also the love of her life. Damon finds interest in her when he relates to her pain and wants to find out all her dirty secrets before he seduces and eventually kills her. Damon/OC
1. Whats wrong with this picture?

**AN: I own absolutely nothing.**

**This is my first ff for the Vampire diaries that I have posted. I've always been so nervous that nobody would like my stuff. So tell me what you think or if you have any suggestions. **

_If I could tear you from the ceiling,_

_I know the best have tried,_

_I'd fill your every breath with meaning,_

_And find a place we both could hide..._

_Don't go and leave me,_

_And please don't drive me blind._

_You don't believe me, but you do this every time,_

_I know we're broken._

_I know I broke it_

**- Blind by placebo**

Am I a liar? Yes. But I can be brutally honest. I lie to get what I want and I wont say what I want till its convenient... for me of course. I know I'm selfish. I'm unkind. But that is just the beauty of it. I know what I am and what I do. I just don't care. Shocker?

I sat in my favorite chair right in front of the fire. Staring at the flames. Wondering what if one day I just gave up and succumbed to the fire. Be part of the flames. I mean what would I be leaving behind? A memory of a great man? No. It's not like I ever wanted that. Maybe in my human days. But now, id be content to be hated. Hate is such a passionate emotion. Its the one emotion I let overtake me. It's not easy to hate something that is all your heart ever desired. But I've had some time to practice.

I heard someone slam the door to the boarding house. I already knew who it was. The "righteous" one, the one everyone loved. Always. I mean the two people I've ever cared about said it themselves. "it was/will always be Stefan." What a dick.

I needed to get out of here. Before the saint wanted to do some soul searching. I took my glass of whiskey and flashed out of the house. It was drizzling outside. What a perfect time for a walk. I started down the road not knowing where I was going. All a sudden I was in the graveyard. I decided I'd fine the graves the Salvatore brothers should be under. I looked at Stefan's grave. For a long time I just stared wondering what it would be like if he really did die that night years ago. I guess you could call it wishful thinking. Then rain started to pick up.

I heard crying in the distance. Anybody else wouldn't of been able to hear it. I quickly found the source of the whimpering. There was a girl in front of a small gravestone. She had brown curly hair. She was soaking wet. I could barely see the difference among the tears and the rain that was running down her face, she had the deepest green eyes I've ever seen. It was probably all the crying that made them so livid. I heard her talking, so I stayed in the shadows and listened.

"I'm so sorry Justin. I shouldn't of said those things before you left. I didn't mean them. I wish you were hear to know how deeply sorry I really am. I need you. I have nobody else. Why did you have to leave me! I could go jump off Wickery bridge and nobody would even miss me! All I had was you! "

Hmph. She was the perfect meal. I wouldn't really label her a 'happy meal' though. I smirked at my own sick joke. Apparently no one was going to miss her, she said it herself. But something stopped me from just going and draining her dry. I guessed I understood what she was feeling. I was sympathizing with her. Knowing how it is to have no care if you lived or died and the last person on earth you thought that would be there for you, wasn't anymore. When did that happen? When does Damon Salvatore care about some girl who was hurt? Hell I killed so many people that I inflicted that same hurt on many others before.

I needed to get out of mystic falls. I've gone soft. All I want to do is flip that switch and go back to killing, seducing, and drinking. I gave one last look at the broken girl. What do I care? She'll probably end herself anyway.

There was a part of me that felt hurt at my last thought. I was relating to this girl not only a minute ago, and now I'm saying it'd be fine if she just killed herself. What if i just did that? Would it be fine?

"I miss you more then I ever thought I would admit. Bye Justin. I'll see you again one day. "

The girl got up and started walking away. I wanted to get to know her. So I followed her. She lived two blocks away from Elena. Except her house was nothing like Elena's. Her house was well more like a shack. I heard the TV blasting inside. When the girl was inside I crept up to the window to see someone past out on the couch. I was outside and I could still smell the alcohol coming off them. I watched as the girl stared at the person on the couch. She stayed there for about a minute, just staring. Her face held no emotion. Then she walked to the door that I assumed was her room.

I crept around the house looking for a window that looked into her room. I found a window that showed the girl. She was changing out of her wet clothes.

Her room was simple. There was a bed in the middle of her room with a white blanket, a closet by the door and wooden floors. She didn't have much. That was a given.

I desperately wanted to know the girls name. I desperately wanted to know everything about her. Once I do, she will mean nothing to me. This girl will probably be the net thing I obsess over, get bored and move on. More like the old Damon. Once I found out all her secrets I would seduce her, then drink her up and go on to being my badass self.

I left the girls shack and started to walk home with a sly grin on my face.

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	2. Ill be the one to gaze on you discreetly

**AN: Thanks for reading/ reviewing/ adding my story to you alerts! It gets me all excited that somebody actually likes what I'm saying. I posted this one earlier then I thought I was so next chapter should be out really soon. Maybe tomorrow? You tell me what you want. **

_A friend in needs a friend indeed_

_A friend who bleeds is better_

_A friend who's dressed in leather_

_A friend who'll tease is better _

_Our thoughts compressed_

_Which makes us blessed_

_And makes for stormy weather_

_-Pure morning-placebo_

DPOV

Today I woke up and the first thing I wanted to do was get some dirt on this mystery girl. I got dressed in my usual black attire and ran off to her house. I was hiding across the street and saw her come out on the porch.

She took my breath away. I never noticed how beautiful she was. Her eyes were still so green that I could get lost in them. She looked so broken and tired. A beautiful face like that shouldn't be hidden with such anguish. I noticed she had a back pack so she must be going to school. She started walking down the street so I followed.

Once she got to school I figured she wouldn't be a social butterfly, she didn't seem to be that kind of person. But I was dead wrong. The moment she saw other students, her face changed into a smiling happy girl. I never thought such sorrow could be replaced so easily and quickly. If I didn't see her last night and on her way to school I would have never guessed how sad she really was.

I watched as she went into the school. I saw Elena and quickly went over to her. Maybe she knows who this girl is is.

I crept up behind Elena as she was talking to Bonnie.

"Why hello Elena" I smirked as she turned around and glared at me.

"Damon what the hell are you doing here? I am so not in the mood for you today. " Well someone is grumpy.

"Well I'm doing great, thanks for asking. And how are you on this fine day Bonnie?" Bonnie just stared at me annoyed and started to walk away and mumbled " I will see you later Elena."

" What do you want Damon?" Damn. She doesn't have to be so hostile. It's not like she is dating my brother or anything and I tried kissing her... Oh wait...

"Why do you think I always want something from you?" I said faking being insulted.

"Because your Damon Salvatore, who always has an agenda." Well thats a given.

" Good point... I was wondering who that girl was. " I pointed to the girl I've been watching. Thats when the girl I was pointing at looked right in my direction. Oh shit.

" Oh thats Blake Mudock, we have American Government together. Wait..why are you interested in her Damon? Leave her alone or I swear i'll..." I cut her off.

" Chill out. I was just wondering." I went back to looking at her who was looking back at me with curiosity, obviously wondering why the hell we were looking at her.

"Well stop wondering and leave her alone." Elena had a stern look on her face as she angrily walked off to class.

Blake...

BPOV

When I left my house I couldn't help but feel like someone was watching me. I didn't care though. It was probably just my subconsciousness playing tricks on me. Like as if Justin was looking down on me. Ha what a joke. If he was alive today he probably wouldn't even be my friend anymore. Let alone be my boyfriend. I never thought I'd be the girl that would drive there reason for existing away. I didn't even deserve to miss him, to be broken that he left me.

I had to stop these thoughts before they killed me. I was coming close to school so I had to get prepared to put on that happy smile of the girl I could never be again. Before Justin died, when I had something to smile about even with my messed up life I couldn't of been happier.

I sat on top of a picnic table giving me a view of everyone in the courtyard. I just sat there, day dreaming of the better days that I need to leave behind. And then I felt eyes on me again. I looked up and saw the most handsome man in mystic falls pointing in my direction talking to Elena, she then looked at me and went back to arguing with the man. Were they arguing about me? Did I know him? I am sure I had a big WTF face on. Should I go talk to Elena? Maybe they knew about Justin... No I wouldn't talk to Elena. I wouldn't want to bring up that subject. Not many people knew Justin. Or know about his recent death. I gave one last look at the breath taking man and started walking into the school. Going to my first class.

The day went slow as usual. After School I had to go home, check to see if my mother was still alive. One day she's going to out drink herself. Then I have to get to work. I hate work. But ever since my mom lost her job I was the one taking care of everything. It was a responsibility and a burden. When my dad ran away with his secretary he took every little bit of the hope to have a normal family. Thats when my mom started drinking. And now this is the first time In all my life I know why she does it. To lose the one you love, you need a little something extra to not feel that pain anymore. I'm still searching for my 'little extra'.

After I checked in on mother I started walking to the grocery store where I worked. I wasn't really paying attention to the things around me but in my peripheral vision I thought I saw that beautiful man by the trees. I turned quickly but there was nothing there. I must be seeing things...

DPOV

I watched as she turned towards me. I quickly ran off to the boarding house. When I walked in I heard brother and brothers girlfriend up stairs talking about Blake and how I took interest in her. This caused me to smirk. Their every conversation must be about me these days.

After a couple of hours later after Elena left, Stefan sat on the ouch across from me.

" You know what I am going to say Damon."

" Oh enlighten me Stefan. What new 'warnings' are you going to give me now?"

" Leave Blake alone Damon. She doesn't need you to ruin her life."

"Oh Stefan...you should know by now that I don't care what you say. I'll do what I want with her, whenever I feel like it. Why don't you go eat a bunny or something."

" If I see you near her..." I cut him off just like what I did to Elena. No one threatens me.

" What is with you and Elena with the empty threats?"

" Damon..."

"Okay, okay. I leave her alone." I'm lying Stefan...

I walked out of the room before Stefan could get another word out of his mouth. I think it's about time I see how Blake is doing.

By the time I found her she was walking home from work. Holding a stack of papers in her hand and reading over them. As she was taking the next paper she got a little paper cut. Over all my years of being a vampire I never smelled something so mouth watering and delicious. It was so tempting... But I had to wait... one day i'll be able to indulge on that sweet stuff and in till that day it will drive me crazy but I had a plan. And I wasn't bout to go break it because of a paper cut. I needed to go find some hot chick at a bar and take it out on her. I ran off to the grill to find my next meal. Tomorrow I was going to Introduce myself to Blake.

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	3. I am the one who preys upon you sweetly

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**ps. I dont own anything. Dont sue.**

_**You blame yourself every day**_

_**You'd do it again**_

_**Every night**_

_**There's something 'bout love**_

_**That breaks your heart**_

_**It sets you free**_

_**There's something 'bout love**_

_**That tears you up**_

-_**Something 'Bout Love - David Archuleta**_

Blake POV

I have had the worst morning possible. I woke up super late, spilled milk down the front of my shirt, which I had to change and that took another ten minutes. When I left the house I forgot all my books at home. Now I am walking or somewhat running to school. I still have a mile to go. It is inevitable, I'm going to be late but I still didn't give up hope yet. I felt my backpack shift in a strange way, I looked down to see the bottom of my backpack ripped and all my stuff was spilled out all over the sidewalk.

This could only happen to me. Finally giving up, I sat down on the sidewalk with my legs spread out around all my stuff. I closed my eyes wanting to just drift off for a moment in silence to regroup. I heard someone approaching me. Snapping my eyes open at the sexiest voice I think I've ever heard.

" Drop something?"

I looked up to see the beautiful man from yesterday holding my folder and a notebook.

I slowly stood up, not even feeling embarrassed being caught spread out on the concrete like an idiot.

" Ha yea. Or a couple things" I said picking up two my books.

"Seems like you've had a rough morning."

" You have no idea. I'm Blake by the way. And you are...?" I said while holding my hand out and trying to give a fake smile but after my morning I just couldn't manage.

" Damon. Salvatore." He said as he took my hand and brought it to his lips. Wait Salvatore? Could he be related to Stefan?... No wonder why he was talking to Elena.

" Its nice to meet you. I think I saw you talking to Elena yesterday at school."

" Oh you know Elena?" He said giving me this sexy look.

" Well I think everyone knows everyone at that school. So Salvatore... as in Stefan Salvatore?"

" Unfortunately... " I gave a little laugh. And for the first time I actually meant to. It wasn't some false pretense I put up. I actually laughed. The thought made me smile.

" No wonder why I haven't seen you around before. You and Stefan just moved here not too long ago, right?"

" Yea we just came back."

"Back?"

" Mhm. Me and Stefan used to live here. Mystic falls was home a long time ago and I guess we just found something attracting us to this town. So we came back."

" Interesting... Well Damon, I have to get to school. I'm already probably going to miss first period." He gave me a smile and handed me my stuff. " It was nice to meet you. "

" It was a pleasure. I will be seeing you." I smiled and glanced down to the sidewalk to make sure I had everything and when I looked up Damon was nowhere to be seen.

"Creepy" I mumbled under my breath.

I picked up my now useless backpack and started walking back to school. When I arrived there was only seven minutes left of my first class. I tossed my backpack in the garbage and went to sit on my favorite picnic table. Then it hit me. Like a slap in the face. For the first time in days, I forgot about Justin. Just a conversation with somebody I didn't even know for a couple minutes made me forget. How could I let this happen? I cant just go on living my life after Justin. It wasn't fair to him.

The sound of the bell shocked me out of my thoughts. I quickly ran off to class. I walked into the classroom and took a seat in the back. Not wanting to deal with anyone. I took a deep breath and felt someone staring me down. I slowly looked over to see Caroline Forbes staring at me with the biggest smile on her face. Me and Caroline used to talk and hangout every once in a while. But we were never bffs. She was way too annoying to handle sometimes and our personalities clashed.

"BLAKEEEEEE! We haven't talked in like forever!" Caroline squealed. She looked so happy. Was I ever that happy? I paused and then forced that perfect smile on my face,

"Caroline! I know! We totally have to hangout soon." Oh god. I sicken myself.

" Well thats fortunate because the reason I came over was to tell you about the party I'm throwing at the grill tonight" She said still smiling like an idiot.

Oh no. I am not going to party.

" I'm sorry Caroline but " She quickly cut me off and put a finger to my lips

" No. No excuses. You are going to be at that party. Whether I have to drag you there or not. "

I guess I could just make an appearance and leave right after. It does give me a reason to get out of the house and away from my mother.

" Okay. Okay. What time is it at?"

" It's at eight, don't forget to wear something nice. Like a dress and some high heels...I'm going for a more sophisticated gathering." That smile was still plastered on her face.

What have I gotten myself into? A dress? High heels? I'm going to have to scavenger hunt through my house to find something decent to wear tonight.

The day went by very slow as usual. When 9th period had come I decided to just skip. I only had study hall. Nobody would miss me. I thought it would be a good time to go to Justin's grave. It's where I usually spend most of my time. I walked into the graveyard and easily found my way to the grave I know so well.

DPOV

Today was the day. I was going to start my 'digging' on Blake. I was walking to her house so I could follow her to school and maybe get to know a little more. When I was hiding behind a tree I noticed that usually she would of left by now. I heard her running throughout the house. Ha someone's late I suppose. I watched as she hustled out of the pathetic excuse of a house and started to speed walk. She looked so funny all flustered and determined to make it on time. After a little bit of walking I saw that her backpack had ripped and now her books, folders and notebooks were all over the sidewalk. I wanted to laugh out loud the look on her face was priceless.

I walked across the street coming out where she could see me. She was sprawled all over the sidewalk. Looking all depressed and tired. I couldn't help but smirk at the way she handled things under pressure. Lay out over the sidewalk waiting for some 13 year old to run you over with their bike.

"Drop something?" I said as I picked up a folder and a notebook. Her eyes flashed open and met mine.

"Ha yea. Or a couple of things"

We went on with the usually conversation of 'Im blahh blahh and you are? balahalaha.

She mentioned me talking to Elena. Damn. So she did notice me pointing at her. That means I'm going to have to explain that one day. We went on with our conversation and I saw her smile.

The first time I've ever seen Blake smile took my breath away. I've seen her crying, and I've seen her fake a smile. But when she truly smiled, It amazed me at how much it made me want to smile. That had never happened before.

We said our goodbyes and I told her Id be seeing her. I plan on it.

I walked back to the boarding house waiting for something interesting to happen. Ahhh. Small towns are so boring. And I don't do boring.

Later in the day I was sitting in front of the fire with a glass of whiskey. This is sort of my thing. I heard Stefan come in and I mumbled "ew". I wasn't in the mood for a broodfest. I was wondering what my plans should be tonight. I was getting bored of 'donated blood' and drinking alone. I needed something fun.

"Damon, Elena is going to be coming over after Caroline's party just so your aware."

"Caroline is having a party?" This spiked my interest. Something to do tonight.

" Yep. But you're not invited Damon so don't even think about it." Stefan said walking out of the room. I just smiled to myself.

Oh stefan...I have done a lot of bad things in my life. Being a party crasher definitely wont the worst thing on that list. I guess I was going to be able to have some fun tonight.

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	4. Every me and Every you

_**What a beautiful smile**_

_**Can it stay for a while?**_

_**On this beautiful night**_

_**We'll make everything right**_

_**My beautiful love**_

_**Maybe a greater thing will happen**_

_**Maybe all will see**_

_**Maybe our love will catch like fire**_

_**As it burns through me **_

_**- Beautiful love by The Afters**_

BPOV.

I actually got dressed up for this thing. I had crimped my hair and found a black strapless dress that was decent but skin tight and I borrowed my moms old red high heels. They were some crazy shoes and if I was standing too long they hurt like hell. I was sitting in a booth at the grill playing with my soda. Everyone was talking, dancing, and drinking. I purposely hid myself in booth in the corner of the grill. Someone came up on my right side and started talking. I looked over to see Damon Salvatore sitting next to me.

" Well, Well. Twice in one day. Are you stalking me? " Damon gave me a playful looked.

" Yep. Even though it was you who just sat down next to me and its was you who just appeared out of nowhere to help me with my books. I'm obviously obsessing over you" I said back with a smile. Whats with me smiling lately? I mean don't get me wrong, smiling is good, it just feels unnatural. At least it should be.

"I knew it. Can I get you drink? Looks like you just ran out." After he said this I looked down at my drink and noticed it was empty.

" Sure. Just get me any type of soda, I don't care." He left and was back in less then a minute with my soda and a drink for himself. He slid in on the side across from me instead of beside me.

" So why are you here? No offense but this doesn't seem like your scene. " He said looking curious.

" Well in class Caroline jumped me and kind of forced me to come. I wasn't planning on coming but it sounded like a good distraction from life. Why are you here?"

"I used to date Caroline." What? Whoa. I was not expecting that. " Speaking of..." I followed his gaze which landed on Caroline walking our way.

" Blake! You came! Ah I thought you weren't going to show. How long have you been here? Have you danced? You better have danced! "

" Of course I came. It sounded too fun to miss. And I've been dancing all night. My shoes are killing me so I needed a break." I smiled and had a sip of my soda.

" Well Matt is waiting for me, I'm so happy you came. "

After Caroline left I went back to look at Damon, who was obviously amused. Before he could say anything about my drastic change of moods, I spoke first.

" So you dated? She didn't even glance in your direction." I said trying to get his mind off what just happened.

" She doesn't like me much anymore. "

" Bad breakup?"

" Ha yea, but it was more like a bad relationship... And Don't think you can just blow off what just happened. "

" What just happened? " I said feign innocence.

" First off you did not dance what so ever and you went from being all ' I didn't want to come to this party' then to ' Oh I wouldn't miss it for the world. " ha-ha. I cant believe this guy I barley know is mocking me.

" Okay Mr. My ex girlfriends hate me, that is your opinion on the situation. So let it go."

" Fine just as long as you don't do it to me. I don't like being played. " When I looked up I noticed he was serious. It went from being a playful conversationto a serious one in seconds.

" I barely know you so there is no reason to 'play you'. " Noticing my slip up when Damon's eyebrows shot up. " Not saying I was playing anybody!" I said fast and gave a laugh to smooth it out.

" Sure, Sure. I am completely convinced Blake." I loved the way he spoke my name. It just came out as smooth as possible. " So why aren't you drinking? Most girls your age would be taking advantage of the fact you could get totally shitfaced right now"

"mmmhm." I giggled. " I'm just not like most girls. " Was I flirting? What am I was doing? Sure he is hot...wait hot was too much of an understatement. He was sexy in every way possible and probably had the hottest girls who say all the right things with a great family, tons of friends and a future. Someone like Caroline. But I'm so not that girl. I mean I used to be that girl, maybe not the girl with the greatest home life but I used to be happy. I would like to be happy again...

" So you don't drink?" Dragging me out of my thoughts and looked at him. He was looking shocked, like he's never heard a 17 year old who has every chance but doesn't like to drink. Well they aren't very common anymore.

" I drink but I'm not a drinker, If you get my drift. I've just seen how alcohol can wreck lives and I usually have responsibilities to take care of and being drunk or having a hangover would seriously mess me up. But it's not like I'm completely against it."

" You know, Your very different. Got some spunk to you. "

" Yea I'm not your average Caroline Forbes." I tried not to look pained by what that meant but I'm sure it showed.

" Hey, I like it." His words made surprised me. I wouldn't of thought Damon Salvatore would ever like something different then your cheerleader party girl. I mean all the signs point to him being a huge douche but he keeps saying things that are surprising me.

" Well Salvatore I have to be home by 10:30 and have to make a stop so I better start walking now" I said getting up and grabbing my things.

" Oh well do you want me to drop you off somewhere, it looks pretty chilly out there." I thought about it. I really liked talking to Damon but that would be kind of weird and a long story to explain if I asked to be taken to the cemetery. I already planned on going to see Justin. There was something I needed to do because tonight I realized I want to be happy again. And I couldn't be happy with the whole blaming myself for Justin's death. I didn't make him do anything. He knew what kind of mess he was getting into.

" No its fine it's not a far walk. Just a couple blocks from here. Ill be fine. Thanks."

" At least let me walk you to the door." he said standing up. We walked to doors and pushed open the doors to feel the bitter wind hit me in the face. When I looked at Damon he didn't even seem affected by it. I already felt my feet start to hurt so I casually took off the beautiful shoes. Damon looked at me funny.

" OK there is no way I'm letting a beautiful girl walk in the cold alone, with no shoes on. I'm insisting you let me take you to wherever you need to go." I decided to just tell him where I planned on going before I went home.

" Damon I'm going to the cemetery. Which normally would freak a normal person out that I would want to go to the cemetery at 9 o'clock..." I would of kept going but Damon started talking so I shut up.

" Aha stop bugging out. If you want to go there I will drop you off wait for you to do what you have to do and I will take you home no questions asked."

"Really? No questions asked? It seems mister Salvatore your very different too." It surprised me that anybody would do this for me. He grinned and start walking to a car that I assumed was his.

" Damn. That's your car?" Oh no he was rich. Of course he was rich. He was perfect. I suddenly got nervous for him to see where I live. His car probably cost just as much as my house. He didn't say anything and just opened the door for me and gave me a look with his eyes that hes given me when we first met. Before I was about to go into the car my common sense kicked in. I was about to leave a bar with a guy who could be a crazed killer.

" Wait, this isn't like your master plan to kidnap me and kill me or something is it. "

" If it was would I tell you?" He must of saw the look on my face and started laughing. " Relax and get in "

" That is very comforting Damon." I said each word dripping with sarcasm as I sat in his car. When he got in and turned the car on I quickly turned the heat on and rubbed my hands together.

" It's not like I'm complaining or anything but didn't you think of bringing something to put over your dress. You must be freezing. Don't get me wrong the less fabric the better. " I smacked Damon's arm mumbled a shut up.

Once we were driving for about a minute the heat kicked in and I was all toasty.

" Warm now?" Damon was smirking.

" Yep. In a strapless dress and all. I did not expect it to get so cold tonight." I said looking out the window.

" Eh it's not that bad."

"That because your immune to cold things apparently. When we stepped out of the grill the wind didn't even affect you and now your taking me to a cemetery and acting like you're taking me to Walgreens or something because its, no big deal. And this morning you just appeared and disappeared out of nowhere. I'm begging to think there is something wrong with you." I said somewhat jokingly.

He didn't reply to anything I said just grinned a little and said " Well we are here. Mystic falls cemetery. Take as long as you want. Oh and it might be all summery in here but it fall outside, take this." He said taking off leather jacket and giving it to me. I looked at the leather jacket and back to him.

" I wont be long. Id understand if you wanted to go back to the grill and carry on with your night. I could just walk home. You've already been to nice to me."

" Not a chance. Now get out of my car." I laughed and stepped out of the car still. Right away just wanting to run back into the car. I hugged Damon's jacket tighter and started walking. When I reached the grave I looked back to make sure I couldn't still see Damons car.

"Hey Justin. I know we just talked a couple hours ago." I said as I sat sown and started to trace his name in the grave stone like I always do. " I just wanna tell you how much I love you. Do you remember when we met? That day I would of never of guessed how special you'd be to me. You totally won me over with that smile. I mean any hot lifeguard at a beach would... but you were special. When we spent that summer together on the beach almost everyday, those were the best days of my life. You became my best friend that summer. I've never had a bestfriend before. And I don't usually have any 'best' days. But you know what happened when summer was over. And I am not holding it against you anymore. But I cant keep blaming myself for what happened. See I'm not wasting any more time. I want to be happy again. And I cant be happy coming to your grave every day. I cant be happy reliving that summer, because when summer ended you became a different person. I wanted to tell you one last time that I loved you so much. More then I should and this is goodbye."

Tears started flowing down my face. But I knew this is what I had to do. I started walking back to the car. When I saw the car I started running to it. I needed to get out of here. I got into the car and cursed myself for not taking time to stop the tears from running down my face. But thankfully Damon didn't say anything about it.

" So...where do I go? "

" Oh just turn on the next right and three blocks down turn left. My house is the last one on the street."

We sat in silence for the rest of the way, which wasn't far. When we were driving down my street I told him which house was mine. I was studying his face when he saw my house. He didn't laugh like I suspected he would, or judge me. He stopped the car and got out before I could protest as I was grabbing my shoes he opened my door. I said thanks and was taken by surprise when he started walking with me to my door. We stopped on my porch and I took out my keys.

" I just wanted to say thanks, again. For everything."

" You know Blake I think we need to hangout sometime. You should let me take you out, or you could come over and have a movie day with me. I don't care, just something" I laughed at the thought of having a movie day with Damon.

" Yea Damon. That would be fun. Id invite you in but I think my moms sleeping. " I said pointing to my door.

" I understand."

" Here let me have your phone." I said with my hand open. He gave me his blackberry and I put my number in it. " Just text or call. See you around." I said walking into my house and waving goodbye.

I shut the door and ran into my room. Not even checking my mom. Tonight was the first night of becoming me again.

**AN: **

**So this took awhile to update, well awhile for me but this weeks been hard. My dog died so I hope this chapter was okay and didn't disappoint. Tell me if you thought it sucked or you love it. Or if you have any idea for the future, I'll probably use them. **

**REVIEW =]**


	5. Tragedy Bound

_**Im trying my best not to forget**_

_**What happened to us,**_

_**What happened to me,**_

_**What happened as I let it slip.**_

_**All the matters glee and the consequences.**_

_**-Meds by Placebo**_

BPOV.

This week went by so fast. Damon never called or texted me since I last seen him. I probably scared him off. I was walking home from school. It was a Thursday, and for some reason teachers thought that Thursdays were the best days to load up on all the homework. Thankfully I didn't work tonight or I wouldn't be getting any sleep. As I passed the grill I decided to go get some food to bring home. I know my mom would be out. Probably wont be home till Sunday. The weekend she always disappeared. I went up to the bar where you usually go if you want take out and told the waiter what I wanted. I sat at the bar waiting for my food to be done. All I could think about was all the work I had to do tonight. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I got a text saying _**I see you **_ I laughed at it. I responded with _**Thats very mysterious and creepy of you. Who is this?**_ . Nobody responded for a minute so I placed my phone on the bar and leaned back into my chair. I looked over to the Giant clock on the wall and turned back to see Damon sitting right next to me.

"You seem to just appear out of nowhere, you know that?" I said. He didn't say anything but grabbed my phone and went to work on it. " What are you doing?" I asked.

He pulled out his phone and looked like he was sending a text a few seconds later my phone started buzzing.

" Oh, so you're my mystery texter. "

" The one and only. What are you up to? " He said leaning back in his chair.

" Just getting some take out and going home. You? "

" I came here with my brother to annoy him, but his girlfriend just magically showed up and they got all kissy face, and as much as I'd love to watch all that I saw you and thought I'd enjoy talking to you much more. "

" Aww, I feel special." I saw the waiter bring me a bag with my food in it. I grabbed it and stood up putting my phone away.

" So are you going to leave me here with Mr. and ."

" I got a lot of homework to do so unless you want to come help me, I don't know what to tell ya. "

" Homework sounds amazing right now. " He said following me out of the grill. I glanced in Stefan and Elena's direction and couldn't help but noticed the expression on there faces. They looked worried. Well that is strange.

Me and Damon started walking towards my house. Making idle chitchat. This is when I first noticed how tall he was. I constantly had to look up to him.

" So is it only you and your mom?"

" Yeah for a while now. "

" No brothers or sisters? "

" When I was around three I had an older brother. His name was Ron. He drowned down at the pond that was really popular in my town. All the kids would go there to skip rocks in the summer and ice skate in the winter. During the winter he went running out on the ice and it was too thin and he fell through. He was only six. Shortly after that is when my dad left us and my mom wanted to move here. "

" Wow. I'm so sorry. Is that who you went to see the other night? " I looked up at him and gave a week smile.

" Its okay. I've heard it all before and no it wasn't, it was...ah. So what your story?" He gave me weird look but didn't press it. I was thankful for that. He must of really meant it when he said no questions asked.

" Me and Stefan don't have much of a family. My mother died giving birth to Stefan. My father died a long time ago. It just seemed all the family we had slipped away. It's only us now."

" Yea I'm sorry too. It seems you and Stefan aren't as close. " A smirk formed on his face

" We definitely have our issues. We were both in love with the same girl. So I bet you know how that turned out."

"Mhm. I see how that can ruin a relationship. " We had finally arrived at my house. I unlocked the door and walked inside leaving the door wide open.

" So are you going to invite me in.?"

" Nope. I'm going to leave you out in the cold." A smile spread across my face at his expression. " Of course you can come in. " He hesitantly stepped inside my house which I though was a bit weird but blew it off.

" So the only place decent enough to do homework is in my room. "

" You know usually I'm not this easy to get into girls bedrooms. But for you I'll make an exception." I gave him a disapproving look and led him to my room.

"Just Ignore all that." I said pointing to the other side of my house. That side didn't get embarrassing in till you turned the corner and I would not be taking Damon on a tour of my house. We walked into my room and I threw my stuff all over the floor and flopped down in the middle of my bed. Damon flopped down next to me.

" Look you already got me in bed. " I turned my head to look at him.

" Shut up Damon. Ugh I so don't want to do Algebra." I wiggled off the bed and grabbed all my books and sat cross legged on the end of my bed across from Damon.

" So what do you all have to do?" He said picking up my American government and Algebra 2 book.

" Just those two classes. I have a huge exam in Algebra. And I have to right a paper on different types of government for different countries. You could help me study for Algebra? " I said smiling at him.

" Ugh fine. Give me the paper with the questions." His hand waved around in the air impatiently. I handed over my study guide.

For a good two hours I was on the floor working out equations(and getting them wrong). And of course Damon would make fun of me.

" You know I think you should go back to pre-algebra. It'd do you some good." I jumped on the bed and smacked his arm. " Oww. That hurt. "

" Yea tomorrow you'll probably have a huge bruise. " I said sarcastically.

" Am I in an abusive friendship? I watched a show about those on 20/20. Never turn out good! I don't want to be your next victim." I burst out laughing. For a moment he sounded serious.

" Too late!" I said shoving him a little playfully. He didn't even budge. I looked at him curiously. We both didn't say anything. Keeping eye contact I pushed him a little harder. Still didn't budge. Then I got frustrated and pushed really hard and still no reaction. I kept going at it for a little bit. The look on his face showed how smug he was since I couldn't even affect him. He started laughing at me. It got to the point I was on my knees practically leaning on him with all my body weight, not giving up till he moved just a little. Still laughing he asked "When are you going to give up.?"

" When... you... move." Still pushing with full force he suddenly shifted which caused me almost fall off the bed but he caught me and put me right into his lap.

" Was this your plan the whole time?" I jokingly asked while laughing.

" Not exactly, I mean I planned on you to fall for me but not literately. " We both laughed. Then it got quiet I felt him staring at me intensely and I looked up and our eyes meant. I didn't realize how close we were in till right now. We both stared for at each other for about 2 seconds. Then I immediately jumped off his lap and sat a little farther away from him.

" You should probably eat your food you brought home." I Totally forgot about the food.

" Oh I totally forgot about that. Ugh I don't have really anything to offer you. Do you want water, or something. We could split my burger?"

" No, its fine. I should probably get going." I didn't expect to be so sad to see him go. I'm sure he could tell. But I didn't want to sound needy and ask him to stay. But the truth is I don't really have much company. The only person I am really around is my mom and she's always such a mess. Either yelling or passed out so I didn't have much contact with anyone outside school or work. It got lonely.

" Yea it's getting late. I didn't even register that it's dark out already. "

" But tomorrow is Friday so you should come over to the boarding house and we can hangout. I can make dinner. " he said looking hopeful.

" Sure. How do I get there? It's not too far is it?" I said as we casually walked to my door.

" I can pick you up after school. You get out at 2:45 right?"

" Mkay. Yep 2:45. See you then." I smiled and gave him a friendly hug as he was leaving.

" Bye Blake. Its been interesting finding out how much you suck at math."

" Bye Damon." I said while rolling my eyes and closing the door.

DPOV.

I left Blake's house and started down the road. Thinking of how I was going to get Stefan out of the house tomorrow night. I couldn't just tell Stefan that Blake was coming over. He'd have a hissy fit and somehow wreck my day. I ran off to the boarding house not feeling like taking my sweet little human time. I walked inside to see Elena and Stefan sitting on the couch looking like they were waiting for me.

" Damon will you sit down." I heard Elena's voice. It sounded serious.

" What is this some sort of messed up intervention? What is going on? "

" Damon, we cant just sit by and watch you do this to Blake." Stefan said.

" Stefan, It's not that big of a deal. All I'm going to do is have sex with her. Drink her blood. May or may not kill her. You really shouldn't pay too much attention. You're getting needy for things to brood about. "

" Damon you cant!" Elena pleaded. I looked at her giving a ' you really think you could stop me' look.

"You cant repeat what you did to Caroline. Remember what happened last time. You got locked up in a room full of vervain. Your not invincible Damon. So either you leave Blake alone or I will do something about it." Stefan was up in my face now. Who does he think he is. Is he just trying to push me over the edge.

" Brother I believe you over looked part of that story. Your actions got Zach killed. If you think you can control me, think again. Because I will kill everyone last person you care about. And it will be all your fault because you couldn't mind your own business." I said equally getting in his face holding on to his shirt. I pushed him and he fell to the ground. Of course Elena ran to his side to see if he was ok. She looked at me, looking pissed off but somewhat controlled. Knowing she really cant threaten me. It doesn't work that way. She got up and came face to face with me.

" Please Damon. Leave her alone. For me." She looked so innocent. A few weeks ago I would of done anything for her. But I couldn't find it in me to do that. She knew what she was doing right now. I wasn't going to fall for it.

" No Elena. I wont do anything for you. Not anymore." I said and walked away from Elena looking shocked. She needed to know not everyone will do exactly what she wanted. She thought way too highly of herself. It pissed me off that she could use people for what she wanted but looked down on others for doing the same thing. She was a hypocrite of the worst kind.

SPOV.

" No Elena. I wont do anything for you. Not anymore." I watched as Damon walked off. I knew exactly what I was going to do. We had to stop this.

"Stefan what are we going to do! Can we give her vervain or something? " I looked up at Elena who didn't look scared for Blake but pissed that Damon was interested in her. I didn't think too much into it.

" Yea I'll give her a bracelet or something tomorrow. And I have a plan. Blake would never forgive Damon if she knew the truth about Damons' intentions. But she probably wouldn't believe me if I just told her. Were going to have to trick Damon.

I looked at Elena who had wide eyes.

" Ok."

**AN: Thanks everyone for all the support! It means more then you'll ever know. Just so you guys know I'm a HUGE Delena fan. But right now this is a Damon/Blake story. So I had to throw in some of that stuff at the end. Its funny because I used to hate FF with a brand new characters but now I love them! But if something like that happened on the show Id probably be flippin a bitch. But...REVIEW! Whenever someone does it makes my day. I now know why everyone is like Review! Review! Review! all the time. hahah. **

**Peace. **

**Oh and I'm making a list of all the songs that have Inspired me with this story so if you want go to my profile and check them out:)**


	6. Look you in the eye and lie, believe it

_**I've spent my whole life surrounded**_

_**and I've spent my whole life alone**_

_**I wonder why I never wonder why**_

_**The easiest things are so hard**_

_**I just want, I just want love**_

-_**Unconditional by The Bravery**_

BPOV

Last night I got very little sleep, probably about three hours. I was exhausted! Later today I had plans with Damon. I was going to go over to his house after school. I wish I could think of how nice and lucky it is to have Damon as a friend but all I could think about was Justin. Am I being selfish? Do I deserve to be happy? It was hard because I had nobody to talk this out with. I had nobody to give me advice. All I had were my guilty thoughts eating me up inside. It was lunch time and I decide to take a walk outside to think instead of sitting in a crowded cafeteria. I was walking around the courtyard heading toward a picnic table when I heard somebody call my name. I turned around to see Stefan crouched down picking something up. He stood back up and started walking towards me

" Is this yours?" I looked down to see a gold bracelet with a little charm on it, laying in his hand.

" Oh no, its not. Someone must of dropped it before. I guess it's yours now. You could give it to Elena, I'm sure shed love it" I turned to start walking again when I felt his hand around my arm pulling me back. A smile appeared on his face.

" I think it would look better on you." He said as he clasped the bracelet around my wrist. " See. "

"Yea it is pretty." I said looking down at my wrist and looking back up. Stefan disappeared.

" Damn Salvatores..." Where they never told that you say goodbye before you just leave? I started to walk again, but I heard the bell telling me to go back to class. I stood there for a moment thinking, skip or go back to class. I should go back to class but my legs were taking me a different direction. I began to walk up the hill leading towards the street. Before I knew it I found myself in the cemetery.

" What am I doing here?" I said out loud. It pissed me off beyond reasoning that when I finally said goodbye, my unconscious mind lead me to the one thing I wanted to forget. All I wanted to do was scream. I had all this inner turmoil inside me. It was no surprise that I have finally cracked. I angrily walked to Justin's grave. I didn't know what to do anymore.

" This is all your fault! It's your fault you died! It's your fault I'm miserable at best! It's your fault I wont be able to fully love someone, always thinking there going to die and leave me like you did! It's your fault I have nobody! It's you fault that I cant get over you! Everything is your fault!" I screamed at the grave. Kicking and screaming. Thank god nobody would be in the cemetery at this time. I sounded pathetic. All the emotions flowing through me only added to the exhaustion taking over. I sat, or crumpled down next the gravestone. Leaning over the gravestone I closed my eyes. Only my life could be so royally screwed up. I had a mother who never truly loved me and loves to tell me all about when shes drunk, my father ran away the first moment he got, the only person who could probably relate to my pain died before he ever had a chance to experience it, my best friend, the only person I've ever felt close to died which I blame myself everyday for. As many times as I can scream " Its all you fault" reality is showing that its nobody's fault but mine. Maybe if I was a good enough daughter my dad would of stayed, I would of been enough for my mother, my boyfriend wouldn't of loved drugs more then he loved me. Its all my fault. And living makes me feel ashamed. When the tears started to poor, I laid my head on the grass and let sleep over take me.

I awoke to someone shaking me. I opened my eyes to remember instantly that I fell asleep and had to get back to school. When I looked to see who was shaking me. I came face to face with Damon. Looking around I noticed the dark tint in the sky. It was no longer noon, it was probably around 3 o'clock. I then remembered Damon was going to pick me up from school. The apologies immediately started forming.

" Oh my god Damon! What time is it? I fell asleep. Im so sorry. I don't know why..." he cut me off by putting a hand over my mouth. I looked him in the eyes to see if he was mad and thought I was blowing him off. It looked like he understood, or at least I hope he did. He helped me to my feet and I brushed off any grass or mud that got on my legs.

" Its 3:30. I waited for you at your school for like a half a hour. I went to your house to see if you where there and I thought the next place you would probably be was here. You had me worried. "

" I'm really sorry Damon, I got next to no sleep last night and I went for a walk and ended falling asleep. I didn't mean too. And I know I owe you an explanation about why am here in the cemetery again and..."

" How about we go to my house and we can about it, or we wont. Whatever you want Blake. " Damon said gesturing towards the path that led to the parking lot. We started walking back to his car in silence. When we got the car he opened my door for me and ran around to his side. I sat in the familiar car thinking about what I was going to all share with Damon. He already knew some of my family life. And that felt good to talk to him about and not see a judging look on his face. That is what worried me the most. People judging my life. Judging me. That is probably why I never made permanent, good friends. Why I was friends with everyone but didn't have anyone close to me. No one at school knew my story. I was scared.

We finally arrived at his house and my jaw dropped. "You've got to be kidding me..." I mumbled under my breath while looking around the boarding house. Well if I was scared he was going to judge me before...

" So are you going to give me the grand tour?" I said looking at him.

" If you insist." He said taking my hand and leading me down a hall way.

After Damon had showed me most of the place, I was in awe. This place was amazing. I could easily get used to it.

" So are you going to show me your bedroom?" After the words came out I realized how that sentence didn't really sound to good.

" I thought you'd never ask" he said leading me up a set of stairs. He pointed to a door and said " This is Stefan's room, and this is my room."

When I looked in his room it was all I expected it to be. It had a black and gold theme going on. I liked it.

" It's certainly you." I said as he led me out of the room. At the end of the hallway there was a corner that led down another little hallway. " What is down there?"

" Oh thats the library. " he said walking towards it. I slowly followed. When we entered the library I was taken back. It was so beautiful in here. There was a huge window that covers most of the wall letting the sun come in. There were book cases up to the ceiling. I could spend hours just looking at every book. " Do you like it?" I turned around to look at Damon.

" Damon this is amazing. Easily my favorite part of your whole house." I walked over to a long couch in the middle of the room and sat on it. There was a table about a foot away. All the furniture was vintage, which I loved. I looked over at the table and something caught my eye. There was a picture of Elena laying on it. It looked really old and used up. I looked at it more closely and picked it up. " I know usually a guy would have a picture of their girlfriend at there house but this is kind of creepy." Damon came and sat down on the couch to see what I was talking about. He instantly went rigid and took the photo out of my hand and looked at it. If I wasn't mistaken there was a pain in his eyes.

" This isn't Elena. " Yes it was... What was damon talking about? This picture was obviously her. " Remember when I told you me and my brother fell in love with the same girl?" Wait, I never thought Elena was the one they both loved! So many questions were running through my head.

" Wait! You were both in love with Elena! I never thought of that before. When..." He was giving me a ' Shut up already' look so I stopped talking.

" No not Elena, Katherine." Katherine? Who was Katherine? " This picture is not of Elena. It's of Katherine..."

" What? That is clearly Elena, unless she has a twin that doesn't make sense. "

" For some reason, which we have no idea why, but they look exactly like each other. They aren't twins, They're completely different ages. But they could be each others double. I swear the first time I saw Elena I was for sure it was Katherine. It didn't take long to see she wasn't. They are two very different people. I was in love with Katherine. Stefan was in love with Katherine. She told us that she loved us both. Played us against each other. " This was something you only hear about on Jerry Springer.

"This is messed up" I said still not really believing it all. " What happened to Katherine?" I looked him in the eyes, trying to read him. Trying to read Damon Salvatore was next to impossible.

" Well for a long time we believed she was dead. It was reported that she died in a fire." I felt my heart sink. I knew exactly what he must of felt. But something told me this wasn't the end of the story. " It turns out she wasn't dead all along. She knew we thought she was dead. She knew how it killed us both. She didn't care. And recently she came back. Told me she never loved me and professed her undying love for Saint Stefan." My heart broke for him. I didn't want to press too much on the issue. I knew how that could be.

" Does Elena know? Is Stefan just using her?" It would break my heart if someone did that to me.

" Yea, Elena knows it all. The first time she found out, she was beyond pissed. "

" I bet. That is completely reasonable. If someone I loved was using me I'd be... so hurt" I looked at the picture again and back to damon. He looked uncomfortable. Did I say something wrong? I tried to break the tension. " So you got any food in this place?" I laughed trying to ease it up a little more. I got up off the couch and started walking to the door while damon followed.

" You would be thinking of food." He said while rolling his eyes.

" Hey, I was sleeping 20 minutes ago! Its like a law that after a nap you need to stuff your face." We walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. I sat on the countertop next to the sink that overlooked the rest of the kitchen.

" So what do you want?" Damon said standing in front of me.

" Um. Nothing too fancy. I don't care. What are you thinking?"

He went over to the covert taking out a box and with a huge smile and said " macaroni and cheese?" I couldn't help but laugh at his face.

"Ah Perfect!" I loved that stuff. We sat in the kitchen while the food was cooking. " So what is Stefan doing tonight? Let me guess going out with Elena?"

" Bingo. That is usually how it goes. " He said while stirring the cheese into the noodles.

" I talked to him for a brief moment today. You know you guys are a lot more alike then you think."

Damon immediately turn to me with a wooden spoon in my face. " You take that back." I started laughing so hard. He was dead serious.

" Its true! You both appear and disappear and you guys have this natural charm."

" For me it might be natural but Stefan works way too hard to be charming. Trust me."

When the food was done we sat at the table. " I don't even remember the last time I had a meal with someone. " I said while taking a bite. Damon was just smirking and gave a laugh.

" I cant say the same." I seem to have missed the joke. After dinner we cleaned up and went to sit in the living room. It got extremely dark outside and looked like it was going to storm bad. It gave me the creeps. " So what do want to do?"

" Well what is fun to do at night, in a mansion?"

" There are many fun things to do at night..." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. I just smiled and laughed it off. I heard the door starting to open. I looked back to Damon who was standing up in a hurry. "Come on we gotta go." He said grabbing my hand and leading me up the stairs.

" Why?"

" Just come on. Stefans home. " Why didn't he want Stefan knowing I was here? When we got in his room he locked the door and turned on all the lights.

" So...What was that all about? Did Stefan not know I was coming over? I know he saw us at the grill so why are you hiding me? Are you embarrassed of me or something? "

" No I'm not embarrassed of you." He said looking like that was absurd.

" Then why am I hiding from your brother?"

" Its just complicated." This is ridiculous. I felt so uncomfortable. I just wanted to leave.

" Shouldn't I just go then. " I looked around " Don't you have an escape route or something?"

" Yea right behind the dresser, Its like a trap door I use whenever the front door is broken"

" Ha-Ha very funny Damon. " We heard the door slam again and the house was quiet.

" I guess he must of just forgot something."

" I should be leaving. " I said walking out of his room and down the stairs. When I went to open the door a hand slammed down on it. I wasn't just gonna let him trap me in here so I started pulling on the door. I pulled harder and harder the door still not budging.

" Do you ever give up? "

" Ah how do you always do that?" I said looking at him who was smiling.

" Well...I'm kind of amazing and..."

" Full of yourself."

" Yea that too." He said. " So will you forgive me? Its just my brother is weird about certain things. " Damon was my only friend right now. Of course I was going to forgive him eventually but I wanted answers. I guess I'll just have to wait to get them.

"Fine." I said and walked past him back up the stairs into his room. Damon followed me not saying a word. I ran and fell onto his bed. I cuddled into his blanket. " Your bed smells good."

" No I smell good. That bed is me. "

" Ew. When you put it that way it sounds gross. And I've never actually smelled you before so I still think its the bed. "

" Then come smell me."

I burst out laughing. " I'm not going to smell you. Thats weird Damon."

" Blake...smell me." He said stepping towards. I jumped off the bed onto the other side. The bed was sitting between us.

" What are you going to do, make me?" I said while backing away.

" If that is what it takes." Damon started to walk around the bed. I playfully screamed and jumped on the bed crawling over it and running out the door. Damon quickly followed me and grabbed me right when I got the stairs. He dragged me back to the room and threw me on the bed then flopped down next to me. " Just do it. Admit defeat and do it." I laughed and leaned on my side and grabbed his arm and inhaled. It smelled just like the bed, but I wasn't going to admit that.

" Yep. Its the bed. What kind of detergent do you use?"

" You know I smell great. You sure do smell... Delicious..." He said doing his sexy eye thing I've seen him do twice now. I smiled and closed my eyes. Just now realizing how tired I was.

" Your bed is comfy too and you cant take any credit for that." I said leaning closer into him.

" I could find a way. "

" I'm sure you could." I opened my eyes and sat up. " I should probably get going. I'm really tired. "

" Why don't you just stay here. The storm outside is about to get bad. We don't want to get stuck in that and I know your mom is gone for the weekend."

" Ummm. Yea I guess, but aren't you worried about Stefan?"

" Who cares about Stefan. I don't anymore. " I laughed.

" Are you sure. I don't want to intrude. Not my style."

" It's completely fine." He got up and went over to his dresser. " Here you could wear these." He threw me a pair of white basketball shorts and a black T-shirt.

" Thanks." I walked into his bathroom that was right next to his dresser. I looked around and was still amazed. " I think every part of this house fails to not impress me. " I changed into the clothes and instantly got cold. I ran out of the bathroom and straight into his bed. Damon was still standing by the dresser, changed into shorts and a T-shirt like me.

Damon just laughed and said " I know you have been wanting to get in bed with me, but that was a bit much."

" Its freezing! You know this is technically my first sleepover with someone. "

" Should we paint each other nails?" He said sarcastically.

" If you're offering, I sure wouldn't mind." I said while looking at my nails.

" Your so funny its nauseating." He said while getting into the other side of the bed.

" I know but thats why you love me. Im so tired! Today was fun. I think I'm going to steal your bed, by the way..." I said and closed my eyes getting comfortable.

" No need to steal, you can sleep in it whenever you want." Even though my eyes were shut I could practically see the smirk on his face. " Goodnight Blake. "

" Night Damon. " I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

**AN: **

**Tell me whatcha think. Ha and tonights episode made me laughhhhhh. I think the best part was " I heard great things about you" " Really? That weird cus I'm a dick" hahaha or something along those lines. This is the longest chapter I've ever wrote. Yayy. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to review, add my story to there alerts, or just read my story. It seriously gets me excited and I always end up writing more to the chapter whenever I get one, without fail. So Review...please:) And should I be adding more DPOV? **

**I was just wondering did anyone else feel like the weekly dose of damon was not fulfilled this week? I mean great episode but I was not satisfied. **


	7. You hate me now I'm sure

_**Look out, they're coming after us with big guns,**_

_**They're only gonna tell you all the bad things I've done**_

_**Even if they words they say aren't true they've won,**_

_**Now I'm left here dying in the sun**_

_**-**__Stars And Boulevardsby Augustana_

BPOV

I was dreaming. I had to be dreaming. I was running through my school screaming at the top of my lungs and no one was even looking in my direction. I stood in a hallway flooded with people and not one person looked at me, not one person even flinched at my high pitched screams. All I wanted was someone to notice. I circled around looking at familiar faces pass me by. I started to yank at arms, I shook my hands in front of faces, and still no reaction. I screamed again and then someone's hand came down on my mouth.

" Will you stop screaming!" It was Damon. He can hear me.

"You can hear me! " Why couldn't anyone else see me? I am basically invisible. But Damon... He can hear me. I watched as he moved quickly. He was walking away. I started running towards him as fast as I could. I was running and I couldn't keep up with him. I was pushing through a sea of students trying to get through. Damon was walking casually and no matter how hard I pushed I couldn't get to him. He was going through the back doors. He was getting farther and farther away. It took me ten seconds till I reached the doors. I busted through the doors expecting to see the sunlight from outside but instead I was in a completely different place. I looked around I was at Justin's front porch. It was dark outside and I turned around to see the doors that I just came out of, turned into Justin's front door. I didn't understand. How did I get here? Where did Damon go? I pushed open the door leading inside his house. I walked in yelling for him. Knowing somewhere in the back of my mind he couldn't hear me. He was dead but swear I could hear his voice. He sounded angry and for a second I thought I heard my voice coming from a distance. I ran up the stairs going down the hallway to Justin's room. There was a glow from the light shining underneath his door. I immediately pushed open the doors to be met with Justin standing by his window looking furious. I looked at where he was staring and it was me. Me from the past. I was standing there staring at Justin, crying my eyes out. I instantly remembered this situation. I just walked into the last time I ever saw Justin.

" Why? Why am I not good enough! I love you! And you love me! Or at least you did! Why couldn't you just choose me! Where did this even come from!"

I couldn't breath. Watching my past self brought up all those emotions. Everything I was feeling all over again. I remember making him choose. He didn't choose me. I remembered coming over that night to find him passed out. High again on something. I remembered asking him numerous of times to not be like my mom. To not hurt me the way everyone else did. And I believed in him. I put my whole life into him.

" You'll never be enough! No one could ever love you! Don't you get it. Your incapable of being loved!" The words Justin yelled sliced though me all over again. I don't want to watch this! Why am I here? I cant take this, It will break me!

" You loved me! Don't say you never loved me!"

I turned around to open the door. I couldn't watch anymore. I needed to run away from being here all over again. Why? Why! I need to leave! I cant be here! I pulled at the door it wasn't opening. Tears drowning out my face. I was stuck in a memory that killed me.

" I thought I loved you. But you proved otherwise. Leave. I don't want you here. " I was still yanking on the door when past me, came and pushed the door open running through it crying. I looked back to see Justin staring at me, not the girl he just yelled at, but the girl only Damon could see. He came walking right to me. He was only a couple inches away with his eyes locked with mine. I heard his voice in my head but his lips never moved _**'Cant you see that he could never love you.'. **_His voice was just like I remembered soft and sweet. The voice kept repeating in my mind and my vision was getting more blurry. I couldn't think. I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. It was just darkness.

I shot up in bed. I could feel the tears coming from my eyes. I looked to see the pillow case I was sleeping on completely wet. I was crying through out the whole dream. I swiped the sweat off my forehead and looked around. I was still in Damon's bed. He was sleeping right next to me. Looking in the other direction.

I jumped off the side of Damon's bed and ran into the bathroom closing the door. I flicked on the lights to see myself in the mirror, looking like I just made it out alive from a vicious horror movie. I put my hair back into a pony tail. My hair went curly throughout the night and with all the tears, sweat, and rolling around made it look like I was a crazy person. But I kind of fit the part. I wonder how Damon didn't wake up. I probably kicked him or punched him a couple of times. He will probably wake up all purple and really think I'm abusive. I put some water on my face and took off the shirt I was wearing, so I was just in a cami and basketball shorts. I walked out of the bathroom looking at the bed. It didn't look as appealing as it did before. I didn't want to sleep anymore. Not when I just relived the most traumatic part of my life. I went to open Damon's door creeping out of it trying my best not to wake Damon up.

I sat down on the top stair putting my head in my hands. It was apparent I was beginning to feel things for Damon. Things I wasn't ready to feel. I wasn't ready to even think about. There wasn't even a possibility Damon wanted me that way either. Sure he makes sexually remarks almost every sentence, but that is how he is to every girl. I don't even know why he is even sticking around to be my friend. I'm not friend material. I'm not girlfriend material. I have too much baggage. I would bring someone down. It was impossible for me to be loved, in a romantic or platonic way.

The words that Justin said rang through my head. It hurt. It so bad. I know Justin wouldn't of said any of those things if he was in the right mind. It was a drug induced fight that he probably wouldn't of even remembered but it still hurt because even though he would of never said that to me before he still meant it. He was my best friend. He didn't say things he didn't mean. Even when they cut me up inside.

I decided I needed a glass of water so I walked down the stairs into the kitchen. I looked throughout the coverts for a glass. I found pans, pots, plates, and finally the cups. I went to the sink and filled up my glass and turned around from the sink only to be face to face with Stefan.

" What are you doing here? Did Damon hurt you? Why do you look so shaken up?" He said while crabbing both my wrist and inspecting them then looking at my neck. What was he doing?

" Getting water. I spent the night with Damon. No he didn't hurt me... Why would he hurt me?" I was confused. Stefan behavior was very sketchy.

"What do you mean spent the night with Damon?" He said looking at me questionably. He was openly judging me.

" Not like that! Jeez what do you think of me?" I said slightly laughing, trying to lighten the mood." He was going to take me home but the storm got really bad and he didn't want to get stuck in it."

" Oh, I think he could of managed it was only a little drizzle." I looked at him like he was crazy. Last nights storm probably blew my house away.

" It looked scary to me!" I said while laughing.

" Damon can be scarier. " He said bringing back the odd tension in the air. He had a way of making a situation uncomfortable. I was about to say something about all his little Damon remarks but he started saying something first. " So why are you awake?"

" I had a nightmare. It was so vivid and I remember every detail, so I guess its kind of freaking me out."

" I know how those can be. But I should probably get back to Elena." Elena is here! He started walking away but I ran after him.

" Wait, Stefan." I said grabbing his arm. " I'm not asking you to lie to your girlfriend but can you just not say anything about me being here to Elena. It looks bad. I know what kind of guy Damon is. But I'm not that kind of girl and it's not that kind of situation. I don't want people at school or her thinking otherwise. I don't need that right now. "

He just looked at me for a second, taking in what I had to say. " Yeah, okay. I can do that. " He said and started walking up the stairs.

I slightly waved to stefan and we went in different directions. I went into Damon's room to see he was awake. The light on his bed was on and he was sitting up. Looking tired but still sickeningly sexy. It wasn't fair that all I got to do was look at him.

" Where were you?" He said while watching me run across the room getting in my side of the bed quickly.

" Getting some water " I said pointing at the glass in my hand. I sat on the bed mimicking his position , leaning against the headboard with the blankets around my waist. I looked over to see him staring at me.

" You've been crying." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. I was confused.

" How do.. how do you know that? " I said looking at him who didn't break eye contact.

" You eyes... they become so livid. I mean they usually are but when you've been crying...they become even more beautiful. " I was shocked. I wouldn't expect something like that to come from Damon.

" Well you've seen me cry more then enough. I swear I'm not one of those over emotional girls. You just always catch me at the wrong times. " I said smirking a little. " I talked to Stefan. Sorry. I know you didn't want him really knowing even though you said you didn't care anymore. "

" I heard." How would he hear that? " It fine." I was about to question him but then thunder cut me off. It shocked me so much that I unconsciously threw myself at Damon dropping the glass on the ground and hugging his shoulders with my eyes shut tight. After the thunder was over I realized what I was doing. " Seriously Blake..." I looked up to see him laughing at me.

" Oh my god that scared me." I said still holding onto Damon but looking out the window. I let go of Damon to pick up the cup. On the rim a little piece of glass chipped off.

" I noticed." He said. I knew by the sound of his voice he was smirking. I turned my head to give him a mean glare but as I turned the lights we had on flicked off leaving it completely dark and the thunder started again. I grabbed onto the cup to hard on the part it chipped when it thundered. I could feel a little stream of blood running down my thumb.

" Did the power go out? " I said looking around. Damon didn't respond. When lighting flashed I found Damon just a couple inches from my faces. Oh my god his face! There was veins all around his eyes. I backed away from Damon. There was no light. Was I seeing things? What was wrong with him? Or what was wrong with me? Did I really just see that? I was growing anxious just standing there in the dark.

" Damon..." Before I could say anything else the door busted open.

" Any one need candles?" It was Stefan. He was holding two candles and walked over to me. Putting a candle on my side of the bed and another over by Damon's. Damon and I didn't move from our positions. I was still shocked.

" You can leave now." Damon's voice sounded heartless and detached. Stefan looked worried as he was about to leave.

" Thank you Stefan." I said as he left. When we were completely alone. I looked at Damon in the candle light. Still not sure if I actually saw something. Damon walked over to the candle picked it up and walked towards me while grabbing my hand leading me to the bathroom. He didn't say anything but turned on the water in the sink waiting for it to get hot. He gently put my hand in the water cleaning off the blood then drying it. He went looking under the sink for something. He came back with a bandage and finally looked me in the eyes.

" Did something happened back there?" His brow furrowed at my words.

" Nothing happened. " He said looking so innocent. I knew he was lying. But I dropped it. I didn't want to know. It always better not to know.

**Heyyy! So usually I like updating on Mondays for some reason so you can almost always expect this to be updated on a Monday and if I have a huge blast of inspiration I'll update earlier. The reason I'm updating it on Tuesday was because well, I partied way too hard this weekend and was paying for it the day I usually write. So I hoped you liked this chapter. I really wanted to create a strong friendship between Damon and Blake before I jumped into things and I hope that is what I am doing. Any type of feedback is welcome:)**

**Thanks for reading. I LOVE YOU **


	8. Your memory will fade

_**But I wish I could feel all it for you**_

_**I wish I could be it all for you**_

_**If I could erase the pain**_

_**And maybe you'd feel the same**_

_**I'd do it all for you**_

_**I would**_

_**- Guns and horses by Ellie Goulding**_

BPOV

Damon brought me back to my house in the morning. As soon as Damon left I started walking to the Gilbert's. When I came to there house, I couldn't help but feel envious. They had a nice place. I walked up to the door and knocked waiting a little bit. When the door opened I knew who it would be. I didn't have enough luck for Elena to be gone somewhere. I know she left early this morning from the boarding house. When she saw it was me she looked shocked.

" Hi Blake... What are you doing here? "

" Hey, Is Jeremy home? " She looked puzzled. Probably didn't know me and Jeremy knew each other.

" Yea he is in his room..." She said opening the door wider, inviting me in. I walked in and she pointed to his room and said she'd be in the kitchen. I slowly walked up the stairs. I haven't spoke to Jeremy since Justin died. He was one of the few people who knew Justin. Him and some other kids would all hang out. I never really fit in with the group. At first neither did Justin because Justin wasn't the type to drink or do drugs. But that changed quickly. I lightly knocked on the door Elena pointed to. I heard a muffled " come in". I walked in the room suddenly nervous. Full aware that this conversation was going to bring unwanted memories back.

" Hey Jeremy. " I said walking in and closing the door.

" Blake..." he looked beyond shocked. " What are you doing here? I haven't seen you since...well you know." He said giving me a hug. " Sit down." I sat down on the edge of his bed while he sat on his chair in the corner of his room.

" That is actually why I am here... You know you were Justin's closest friend." I said while choking up a little. " I wish we would of stayed in touch Jeremy. I miss you."

" I've missed you too. I just... I of all people know what you've been going through. I just thought you needed some space." When he talked he looked sincere.

" So how have you been doing? I know things are hard without you parents."

" Its hard but I know they would of wanted me to be happy. There is a lot of things I'm finding out about them that I never knew and I thought before that things like this would hurt but it's actually kind of healing, you know? "

" Jeremy do you ever have nightmares about your parents?" I said trying not to hit a nerve or anything, but I was curious. That dream last night, I've never had that before. To tell the truth I don't remember the last time I dreamed. Its usually all just...blank to me.

" All the time when it first happened. Not anymore. Why? Are you having nightmares?"

" Oh no I just was wondering... so it seems you're off the drugs" I said looking around for something to prove otherwise.

" Yea. I've learned better." I had to smile.

" That is really great Jer!... You know the consequences of what happens when you make it a lifestyle. " I said dead serious. We both knew what I was talking about. "Jeremy I'm here because I don't want anyone knowing about Justin. "

" Well I understand why you wouldn't want anyone looking at you with pity or asking questions but... I haven't told anyone at school. Why would you think I'd start now?" He said looking very confused.

" You know Damon Salvatore?"

" Yea he's an ass. " I couldn't help but laugh at that.

" Well I don't want the ass knowing about it. I don't want your sister knowing about it either. So I was just wondering if you wouldn't volunteer any information. She obviously knows now that we know each other but she doesn't need to know how. Is that okay?"

" Dude, its completely okay. I know how it is. " I got up and hugged him again. " Thanks Jer. "

" So are we going to start hanging out again?" I smiled. I missed this.

" Most definitely. What are you doing tonight?"

" Hanging out with my old friend Blake. What are you doing?"

" Hanging out with this loser named Jeremy. " We both laughed. We started walking down the stairs and I saw Elena looking at us.

" Bye Jer." I said while hugging him one last time and quickly giving him a peck on the cheek and walking out the door.

I walked home and realised how late I was. I rushed out of the house hopefully not being late again. I've made being late a habit. I ran to work.

Work took forever today. I guess it was because I had so much on my mind. How could I forget Damon being so strange this morning, and then that horrible dream. The words Justin said ran through my head over and over again_** 'Cant you see that he could never love you'. **_It's not like I already didn't know that. I never thought I 'd want anything more from Damon. He was just a friend and I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment that feelings were being made. It's not like I would ever act on it. I'm just happy I actually have somebody. And maybe me and Jeremy can be friends again. It was a big maybe. Sure were hanging out tonight but things change.

After work I got a text from Jeremy to meet him at the grill. I went straight from work. I walked in and saw him at the booth that I usually love to sit at. It was quiet and didn't draw much attention. I sat down and things were just like old times. Even though Justin was the glue to me and Jerermey's relationship, we had a lot more in common than I thought. It was after about a hour that Jeremy brought up the whole Justin and Damon situation.

" So why don't you want Damon to know about Justin?" I looked up from my drink to see Jeremy go completely serious.

" To tell you the truth I don't know why really. I guess its just Damon and I have actually become friends and I feel if he found out about it, things would be different... and I... I feel like Justin's memory is fading the more I'm with Damon and I would of thought I wouldn't of wanted that but the pain is dissapearing too. Don't get me wrong, it still eats me up in inside but I feel like I should be allowed to be happy. I should be allowed to live my life, as pathetic as it might be and I never felt like that before. I thought I should be punished with grief for him. Before I couldnt of probably be able to talk to you. It would hurt too much. But today I could."

" Really? I understand it. I really do but Damon, he may understand too, more then you think. I cant believe I'm saying this, I hate the guy and I'm trying to convince you to open up to him. What's wrong with me?" I laughed at that. Leave it to Jeremy to take a serious situation and make me laugh.

" Yea it's a little messed up. But hey thanks for this tonight, it was great but I should get going. I'm exhausted. " I said while standing up.

" Yea Jenna is going to want me home soon too." We walked to the door and went our seperate ways. It was cold out tonight and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. When I got home I noticed my door was wide open. That was a little suspicious. I wasn't sure if someone broke in or if I just was so busy on getting to work I didn't close the door all the way. Just to be safe I called Damon. He was a macho man and it was scary. I needed macho Damon. It felt like the phone rang forever and he finally picked up.

" Couldn't go a day without me could you?" You've got to be kidding me.

" Yea I couldn't so come over here because I think someone broke into my house or I was just being careless and left my door wide open. So get your ass over here like NOW. " I said in a hushed whisper.

" Oh this is going to be sooo much fun. I'll be over in a second. "

" Seriously get like speed racer and come over here." I hung up the phone and went down my drive way. Freaking out pacing back and forth. I turned around and walked straight into a hard chest.

" What the f..."

Damon cut me off " Ah Ah. Now what are you freaking out about?" I pointed to the open door. Before he could say anything I added. " and don't make any jokes about how somebody would never think about stealing something from my house or make fun of the fact that I may have left my house with the door wide open."

" You know me way too well Miss Blake." he said while walking towards my house.

" Just get in there. " I said pushing him inside the door. " Oh... and don't get murdered or anything. I'd miss you. "

" Nice to know you care."

I waited outside for about five minutes and decided to poke my head in the door.

" Are you alive?" I called throughout the house. I saw Damon standing in my living room laughing. " I swear if you're looking at my third grade picture and laughing I might die."

" I am." He said still laughing. " There is no one in there. Doesn't look like anyone was. It was probably just you being you and forgetting to close the door. Who forgets something as important as closing the door when the leave the house? "

" Shut upppppp." I said while laughing and walking into the house. I went to put my purse down in my room and that's when it happened. I saw something brownish move fast on the floor. Did I just see what I think I just saw? I got on the floor and looked under my bed to come face to face with a chipmunk. I screamed at the top of my lungs and shot up and jumped on my bed. Damon came running in.

" Theres a beast under my bed." I said pointing to the ground. He gave me a questional look. He bent down and looked under my bed.

" Theres nothing under here." He said as he stood up.

" Theres a chipmunk! Its gonna eat my furniture or something and...Oh my god. What if we can never find it and it gets domesticated and grows! It must have rabies! It probably thinks my wooden floors are like his trees he lives in and is making himself at home." " Damon just stood there laughing at me.

" Why are you so freaked out? Its just a chipmunk! It probably came in when you mistakenly left your front door wide open for all the animals to come join you in living here. "

" Just take me out of here." I said holding my arms out. Damon came and picked me up and put me over his shoulder.

" Where to?"

" I'm not living in a petting zoo. I'll set a trap up tomorrow. Do you like me enough that I can stay at your place?" I said while upside down.

" Do you really think I'm going to say no. " Yes. " You know we could just get Stefan here to sniff him out. He likes things like...chipmunks. "

"What?" I said confused. He just laughed and didn't say anything.

He started walking onto the street with me still hanging over his shoulder.

" Did you bring your car? " I said trying to see where everything was. Which was hard. " I think you can put me down now. " Damon let go all together and I started falling down. Right when I was about to hit the ground I was caught and shifted up straight with my feet on the ground.

" Dick. " I said as we started walking to his car. I was getting very tired. Its been a long day. I slowly drifted off to sleep in Damon's car.

I woke up to Damon lightly slapping me in the face.

"Damon...why?" He just laughed at me.

" Come on. You can sleep when we get upstairs. "

" Wanna give me a piggyback ride?" I said with a sleepy smile. I jumped on his back slowly falling asleep as we walked to the door.

SPOV

Elena and I were sitting on the couch when we heard the door open. It was Damon and...Blake? Damon was carrying her on his back and she was passed out.

" She's just sleeping Stefan, no need to be 'alarmed'. " Damon said in his usually sarcastic tone. I gave him a glare and looked at Elena who was staring at Damon with an expression on her face I couldn't read. Why was she looking at him like that?

" Elena...?" She immediately snapped out if it and looked at me. I watched as Damon went up the stars with Blake still sleeping on him.

" There getting too close. He's taking his time with her. I don't know why. " Elena said glancing at Damon as he left.

" We have to do something about it fast."

I looked at Elena to see she was as serious as I was. " I know " was all she said.

**AN: Review. So I had written a completely different chapter with no Jeremy or chipmunk that I really really really wanted to post because I've been waiting to post that part of the story from the very beginning but I think I'm going to use it for the next chapter because I didn't know if it would be realistic yet. I'm so excited! But tell me what you think please. Reviews give me little butterflies that don't flutter there more like BAM BAM BAM. Hahaha. So I hope this chapter didn't disappoint. Its just leading up to something:)**

**And tonights episode was soooo amazing! Ian somerhalder was extra sexy and those " But your my friend" lines. Aww poor Damon. All his friends don't like him.**


	9. Either way I'll break your heart someday

_**This is worse than it seems**_

_**Wait, I don't ever want to be here**_

_**Like punching in a dream**_

_**Breathing life into the nightmare**_

_**-Punching in a dream by The Naked And Famous**_

BPOV

I woke up to the sun hitting my face. I expected to have a nightmare but I didn't. I turned my head and for the first time realized I was wrapped up in Damon. My legs were all tangled between his and I was laying practically on top of him. It felt.. it felt right. I turned my face out of the sun on the to the other side of Damon chest. I felt him shift a little so I twisted my head around to look at him smirking down at me.

" Comfortable? " He said with his eye thing that I've grown accustom too lately. I didn't want to move. Right now the outside world didn't matter. Once I got up, it will all matter again.

Our faces were only inches away. If I really wanted to all I had to do was tilt my head and our lips would be touching. Both of our eyes kept glancing at eachothers lips.

" Do you want coffee in bed? " Damon said breaking the moment but coffee sounded really good right now. I nodded and sat up off him while he got up and quickly ran out of the room. I got up from the bed heading to bathroom when I walked into something hard. I was pushed back a bit and I looked to see Stefan's standing there with no emotion on his face. He backed me up into the wall and was centimeters from my face.

"Stefan what are..." I didn't even get to finish my sentence when he started talking.

" Damon's a vampire." Stefan said in a hypnotic tone. A what? A vampire? Was this kid serious?

" Are you kidding me Stefan? I just woke up and you show up out of the blue informing me that Damon is some mystical creature. You look stupid. " I was annoyed by what happened, or what didnt happen with Damon so I was kind of taking it out on Stefan but he freaked me out and was a little too close for comfort. He looked frustrated. He grabbed my arm, looking at my wrist and broke my bracelet while hissing with pain. What is he doing? " Why Stefan? " I said while the bracelet fell to the ground.

" Damons a vampire. Your terrified." His eyes were entrancing. Damon is a vampire. A monster.

" I'm terrified." I repeated his words.

And then I was alone. In Damon's room. I dropped to the ground. Tears came easily. Was I going to die? Why would a vampire be my friend? Vampire. What is going on? Why did Stefan leave me with him? I heard the door creak open. Oh my god. I was going to die. That is the only thing I knew at that moment. I shuttered into the wall pressing into it, as if I pressed harder the wall would break and I'd go through and disappear.

" Blake? Blake what is going on? What happened?" Damon ran over to me. Forgetting about the coffee. He crouched down on the ground kneeling by me.

" Get away!" I said while pushing harder against the wall and the tears coming faster. He lifted his hand up to my cheek and started wiping the tears away. I shuttered away from his touch. When I looked at his eyes he looked... broken. " Just let me go. I wont say anything! I promise. Just let me go! "

" Blake what are you talking about! What did I do? Was someone in here?" He looked confused. He really didn't know.

" Stefan told me! Your a... your a vampire!"

DPOV.

I walked up the stairs actually starting a day happy. I went into the room with a big smile on my face. I then noticed Blake wasn't where I left her. " Blake?" I looked around the room searching for her. I found her pressed up into the corner of the wall. Crying, looking absolutely terrified. " Blake what is going on?" I ran to her. I just had a feeling that I needed to protect her. What happened when I was gone? What made her so scared?

" Get away!" Why would she say that? I'm going to protect her. " Just let me go. I wont say anything! I promise. Just let me go! " Let her go? I was so confused. Was someone in here? Did someone tell her? No. That couldn't of happened.

" Blake what are you talking about! What did I do? Was someone in here?" She was so scared. Scared of me?

" Stefan told me! Your a... your a vampire!" My eyes widened at this. He couldn't have. I went from being confused and hurt to seriously pissed off in seconds. He's going to die. I sat up from my crouched postilion and walked towards the door, ready to kill my pathetic excuse of a sibling. This time he crossed the line. There was no going back from that. I was opening the door when I heard Blake shutter. I turned back to still see that terrified look on her face. I studied her to see something was off. Sure, I expected when she found out she was going to be mad, scared or hurt but there was something off, something more then normal. I walked back and crouched down again. She pressed into the wall and I looked deep into her eyes. It was very clear. She was compelled.

" What did Stefan say Blake? " I needed to know the exact words.

" He said your a vampire and I should be terrified. " I pulled at my hair. How was I going to fix this? I looked into here eyes and thought about how I could reverse it.

" You know I'm vampire. Your not okay with it yet but you know I'm not going to hurt you. You're going to let me explain myself then you're going to make up your mind on how you feel about me being a vampire." I compelled her. I did my best so that her free will wasn't being taken away. She slowly repeated the words I just told her. I then begin telling her my story. Starting with Katherine.

BPOV

Damon told me about how everything happened. About the blood. How Katherine was a vampire. The town found out and wanted her dead and how the Salvatore brothers died trying to save her. I found out about compulsion, their day walking rings, who was all vampires, and how the town knew about them. He told me about how he charmed his way onto the council pretending to be on there side. He even told me all about Elena and Stefan's story and how they didn't want us to be hanging out. He warned me that they wanted this to tear us apart and if it didn't work they are going to try again. It was a lot to take in. When Damon told me about compulsion and vervain I think that cleared up a lot things that I was confused about. I didn't like the fact Damon was a vampire. It disgusted me, but I wasn't going to let this ruin our friendship. Anyone else it would of been a different story. This was just another thing proven that, I couldn't go without Damon. I need him now and I was willing to accept the darkest parts of his life so he could be in mine. There were still things that I didn't want to know though and Damon did his best to fill me in on only the necessary things.

" Damon. This is a lot. Too much but you have to be in my life. You cant leave me!" I said trying not to sound to needy.

" I'm not going anywhere Blake. I know it's a lot. I know that you're more scared of whats out there in the world then you're letting on but I also know you've been through so much that those things could never hurt you as bad as you've been hurt, Blake. Where you came from, all that pain you've had. Its made you so strong. You've survived Blake, when a lot of times, people don't. " He kept eye contact this whole time. For some reason that made me believe him. I tell myself I've been strong but never truly believed it but when Damon said it. I believed him. I trusted him. I leaned closer into Damon. We were already sitting close after time but I needed to be closer. When I got close enough that our faces were only inches way, just like how when we woke up and I was ignorant of all the bad Damon posses. It didn't change anything. Our eyes kept contact not faltering once as we both leaned in.

My alarm clock for work on my phone broke it. I jumped up and grabbed it leaving Damon's side. I totally forgot but I had to get to work. When did it get to be 5 o'clock at night? Normally I would of called in but I was for sure I'd be fired. This job supported me and my mom. This was just another time in my life that I had to think past myself and do what was best for my family.

" Damon, this is the worst timing ever but I got to get to work, they will fire me if my late normally I would of called in after what I've heard this morning but I've made too many mistakes." I said while grabbing my stuff and running into the bathroom. I was scared I was going to be late. I couldn't let that happened it would be just as bad as not going at all. Damon grabbed his keys and said he'd be waiting downstairs. When I was done getting everything I needed I ran down the stairs while throwing my hair into a messy ponytail. We quickly left the house and drove off leaving the shocked faces of Stefan and Elena behind.

When we pulled up in front, I was fifteen minutes late. I was silently freaking out and Damon could tell.

" Just put a brave face on, walk in there and take whatever they give you. You can call me and I'll pick you up whenever." He said trying to calm me down a bit.

" Thanks Damon." I said while giving him a kiss on the cheek. Lingering there a little more then necessary. I stepped out of the car ready to get fired.

" Oh and I'll go over to your house to take care of chip." Knowing that he was going to get rid of the untamed animal at my house made things a little better.

" Really you will?" He just smirked and drove off.

When I got inside my boss was waiting for me. He quietly took me back to his office and politely told me they wouldn't be needing me around anymore. I was expecting this but it still didn't stop me from begging. crying and yelling. In that order. I walked out about 30 minutes later with all my stuff and walked home. I called Damon and found out he took care of 'chip' as what he called the chipmunk living in my house and was waiting for me at home. On the phone I could tell something was wrong, his words didn't hold his usually sarcastic cocky edge to them. When I walked up to my house I found him sitting on my stairs of the porch with his head in his hands and elbows resting on his knees. I quietly sat down. He didn't look up but I knew that he knew I was there.

" You got chip out fast. " I said trying to break the ice a little.

" You know me. Super speedy." he said detached. What happened from the time he dropped me off to right now? Something was really bothering him.

" Damon whats wrong?" I said while putting my hand on his back.

" Why do you think something is wrong?" He said sitting up.

" I know you Damon. You may have everyone else fooled but I can tell when your hurting. "

He looked hesitant. After a long pause he finally said something. " Remember that story about Katherine? It just... you know never mind."

Katherine. It will always be Katherine. I was a fool to think he may actually want me the way I want him. I was so stupid. I'll never be Katherine for him.

" Is that what this is about? Katherine?"

" Just forget I said anything. I actually have other intentions right now."

" Damon you can talk to me..." I said looking him in the eyes. " Your one of the only friends I have. Your basically my best friend. I have nobody else right now. " I said almost pleading with him to open up to him.

" Blake I'm sorry I said anything about it, I shouldn't have, it was a mistake. " Now I was starting to get annoyed.

" No Damon! You obviously have something on your mind you should be able to talk to me about it. After what I've all told you, you cant talk to me? You can tell me all about being a vampire but you cant talk about this? " That sparked something in Damon.

"What you've all told me! You don't tell me anything Blake! I ask and you blow it off. Your always at that damn graveyard and you never say anything about it! I told you all about Katherine! I'm well aware of how it aches Blake! But you still wont let me in!"

" Damon I..."

" Don't Blake. " He said standing. I quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him back down.

" Do you really want to know? " He just nodded.

" Your right Damon, I'm sorry. I've been a hypocrite. I shouldn't have said anything about Katherine. I just... I just care about you so much." I paused and he didn't say anything. " The person I went to go see those times...Justin...He was my best friend. He was my boyfriend. He was my everything and he overdosed on drugs. I used to beg him to stop doing drugs. When we first met, he was troubled. He had a family life similar to mine and we bonded. We fell in love and then the summer ended. He discovered what it was like not to feel anymore. He discovered all the wonders of getting high and he loved it more then he loved me. I wanted him to stop. He was the last person I ever thought would do that to me. The night he died I asked him to choose, between the drugs and me. He didn't choose me Damon. I have been blaming myself for his death thinking well maybe if I didn't make him choose he wouldn't of just indulged in the drugs and wouldn't of felt the need to not feel. I loved him so much. I never had love before and when I lost it. I lost everything I have gained when being with him. Every little bit of confidence I had and every hope of being happy when all the odds were pointing to me being miserable. And I'm sorry that I'm guarded but I know you know what its like. Damon you've got so many walls up that I'll never be able to break them down unless you let me."

Damon was quiet. He didn't say anything. After a couple of minutes he said " I'm sorry." In a hushed whisper.

" Do you want to come inside? I can make... at least I think I can make tea. " He didn't say anything just stood up and walked inside. " I'll meet you in my room." I said as I walked off into the kitchen.

DPOV

After Blake told me her story I didn't know what to say. When I pressed he issue it wasn't as much as wanting to know her story as to wanting her to open up to me. In the beginning this is what I was looking forward too. Knowing why she is so much like me and knowing everything about her. Her story hurt because the pain she had was the exact same I had too. We both loved someone that loved another thing more. We were both second best. We both had nobody. I felt connected for the first time with someone. I never thought I would want that before. But I think I just found out I've been craving it for a long time.

I walked into her room and just laid down on her bed. Today has seriously worn me out. After all these thoughts I realized I wanted Blake in every way. Tonight I planned on having her too. I know she wants me even though she'd never admit it out loud.

Blake walked in her room with two cups. She put them on the table next to her bed and fell onto the bed laying down next to me. After a couple minutes of silence; she spoke.

" Why do you want to be my friend? Nobody sticks around. Why did you?" I knew she was going to ask this one day. She didn't know how amazing she could be.

" Blake..." I said her slowly. " Give yourself more credit. Don't group me and everyone else together. I'm not them. I guess I recognized something in you that is in me. Pain. We have a lot more in common than anyone else that I know. Your an amazing person. All the things that have happened to you and your still so strong. I care about you. Your special to me and I've never have met someone that can make me laugh as hard as you do." I looked to see tears trickling from her eyes. Nobody must of ever made her feel special. Somewhere my plan to seduce, kill her, or just do what I wanted with her got muffled in all the time we spent together. In that time I grew respect for her.

I didn't even notice how close we got. Our bodies were both turned towards each other, basically touching. This is exactly how I wanted things. She put her hand on where my heart should be and stared at it. Both not saying a word. I started to pull strands of hair out of her face. I wanted to see those beautiful eyes so I ducked my head down trying to get at eye level. There was a moment. A moment we both had a realization. Our lips were only centimeters apart. This has been happening all day. We keep having these moments that we get so close and we both wanted it. We both wanted to move forward just a bit, but something was always holding us back. There was tension between us. I rushed forward at the same time she did and our lips gently touched. It wasn't like any kiss I've had before. The others were all rushed and with lust and lust only. This felt different, it was passionate and gentile. We slowly kissed again and again. The kisses weren't as gentile and I had a feeling we were making up for all the times we hadn't taken our chance at this. Our lips kept crashing down on each others growing more urgent as our bodies pressed as hard as they could against each other. Her hands were on my chest for a moment I thought she was going to push me away but the slight pressure she had on them slowly changed into unbuttoning my shirt at an impressive speed while my hands clawed at hers. We were pushing and pulling. Neither of us wanted to stop so we didn't. For once in my life this felt right and I wasn't going to have any regrets.

**AN: Review. Do it. Do it. Do it right now! Because I said so:) Thanks for reading.**

**I had SOOOOO much fun writing this (at 5am). I was tired of being patient. I wanted them together already! My biggest worry of this whole story was that things would be rushed. I had planned on this chapter being put out like 2 chapters ago but I didn't think they were quite there yet. So I added 2 basically filler chapters ( they were still important though) because this whole story is based on there relationship but they had to have one first before I went all lovey dovey on their ass. I'm so excited for next chapter! Some more angst and heartbreak coming up. **


	10. Love doesn't last too long

_**It's almost like you had it planned**_

_**It's like you smiled and shook my hand**_

_**And said "Hey, I'm about to screw you over big time"**_

_**And what was I supposed to do**_

_**I was stuck in between you**_

_**And a hard place**_

_**We won't talk about**_

_**The hard place**_

_**-Light years away by Mozella**_

BPOV

I was vaguely awake when I rolled over to be met with another body. I opened my eyes to see Damon laying there is like the fifth time I've woken up to him and yet it still surprises me that he is actually there. Realizing I was practically naked, instantly brought back the events of what happened last night. A small smile spread across my face. I cant believe that actually happened. Does that mean he likes me as much as I like him? Did I actually matter to someone? What does this mean? I didn't have any answers but this was for sure the happiest I've been in a long time.

I was starring at Damon, taking in his every feature. We were nose to nose when he finally said something.

" I know you love my face but it's getting harder to pretend to be sleeping with you staring so much." I started giggling.

" Good morning Mr. Salvatore." A wide grin spread across his face as his eyes shot open meeting mine. " Did last night really happen?" I said not believing it for myself.

" You forced yourself on me. I had no choice." I giggled even harder when he pressed his body into mine. Damon started planting little kisses all along my neck and moving down lower and then my phone went off.

" You should probably get that. " He mumbled against my skin.

I groaned. Whoever this was had the worst timing. I listened for my phone and heard it coming from my jeans that were all they way across the room.

" Did you really have to whip my jeans that far." I said while frowning at having to get out of the warm bed, but mostly at having to leave what was in it.

" Yea I did that so I could watch you go get them this morning." I laughed as I got up. I felt Damon smack my ass and I turned to glare playfully at him who was just smirking. I grabbed my phone to see a missed call from an unknown number and a text message saying_** ' hey this is Elena. You wanna get some coffee?' **_from the same number.

" You look confused. Why?" Damon was sitting up in bed now.

" I just got a text from Elena." That really caught his attention. "She wants to go get coffee. Should I go?"

" Do you want to go?" He said while looking for his pants on the ground.

" I'm not a big fan of her and Stefan right now but I think I'm going to go. Want to drop me off? " I said smiling hopefully while picking up his pants and throwing them at him.

" Anything for you. " He said slightly sarcastic.

Damon dropped me off at the coffee shop and I ordered Elena and I a coffee. It was warm enough so I sat outside and waited for her. I saw her walking towards me and she smiled.

" Hey Blake! " She said while sitting down.

" Hey." I said a little hesitant. " Whats up? "

" Oh nothing I just came from Stefan's. I noticed how close you and Damon were getting so I thought we should hangout." No shit she noticed.

" Yeah were friends" I said not really sure of what me and Damon were right now.

" Just friends? " She said looking like she knew I had gossip.

" There is nothing else going on. Damon doesn't like me like that. " I didn't know if I was actually lying or if If that how it really was. I'm not stupid, I know how Damon is. Deep down I knew it would break my heart if it didn't mean as much to Damon as it did to me but I put those thoughts away. I didn't need to think about that right now.

She smiled at me and said " I don't believe you and don't think I didn't notice you never denied liking Damon."

I laughed and said " Well you should because its the truth and I don't like Damon." I tried my best to sound convincing.

" Okay, okay, I believe you. Hey, have you seen him at all today?"

" Not at all." I knew from the look on her face that I looked guilty. " Why? "

" Well Stefan was looking for him. Last time we saw him is when you guys left yesterday. Probably stayed with some random girl last night. " If I wasn't mistaken I believe that last part was intentional. I narrowed my eyes. I knew what she was doing. It was obvious she knew I sorta kinda liked him. She was throwing that in my face to... to hurt me? Little did she know I was that girl. Woah, I just felt like slut... only for a second though.

" Well the last time I saw him was when he took me to work. " I said while I took a sip of my coffee.

There was a long silence after that. I knew she didn't think we were together last night. She was probably going to do some more ' Damon is bad! ' talking. " So..." I said feeling a little awkward now.

" Did Stefan talk to you yesterday? In the morning? " So is this what it was about? They wanted to know if Damon compelled me to forget about what Stefan told me.

" Yes he did. I remember it Elena. I know what your doing. " I said looking here dead in the eyes.

" What are you talking about? " She said looking confused but I knew better.

" I know what they are. I know what all has happened with you and Stefan. I know Elena, so you and Stefan can seriously stop with this all. "

She was quiet for a while not looking at me. " I'm sorry Blake. I really hope you see Stefan and I were just trying to help you. I mean considering the situation. Don't think we were trying to purposely hurt anybody. It was all for your benefit." After that I felt a little bad. They were just trying to protect me.

" It okay Elena...Just now that I know his secrets, let me make my own choices. " She quietly nodded and we did our best to go back to a normal conversation.

We talked about stupid things like how the football team was doing this year, how horrible Mr. Jones exam was, and how winter break couldn't come any faster. It was when Elena was looking through her purse to pay me back for the coffee when she noticed she left her wallet at Stefan's.

" Do you want to come with me and go get it?"

" Seriously Elena its fine. The coffee is on me. " She wouldn't let me just pay for her.

" No you're coming with me. " She grabbed my hand and practically dragged me to her car. "Get in"

" Okay, Okay. Man, Elena I didn't know you were so bossy." I joked.

" Get used to it." She said smiling.

We started driving and when we finally got to the boarding house I saw that Damon's car was here. Great. This was going to fun... not really. I followed Elena up to the door and she just walked in.

" Shouldn't we knock?" I said looking at her like that was the obvious.

" Oh Stefan just has me walk in. There used to me doing it, come on." We walked through the house to living room. We could faintly hear talking. Sounded like arguing and then I heard my name. What was going on? We walked down the hall stopping at the corner leaning to see Stefan and Damon standing across from each other and Damon looking smug. Elena pushed me back so we were out of sight and could hear them. She signaled to be quiet. It was then when I heard the words that destroyed my world.

DPOV

After last night I needed to think. I dropped Blake off to go meet up with Elena and I was feeling, guilty? I wasn't sure if last night was just me fulfilling my plan or if I actually gave in to Blake. I was feeling guilty because I made this girl think I wanted her when I grew to respect her, but did I wanted her? I was angry because I wasn't supposed to feel this. I wasn't supposed to actually care and I damn sure wasn't supposed to be confused if I actually felt something towards her or not. I should be happy right now that I finally got what I wanted.

I was tired of feeling all these things.

" God, Damon your so stupid! You seriously think you like her? Have the words 'REBOUND' appeared in your head yet?" Why the hell am I talking out loud to myself? Look what this chick has done to me. She's nothing special. She's nothing at all anymore. What more would I get from her? I already got everything someone like her could give. She's not good for anything else.

I was instantly back to my old self. It felt good. After driving around in circles and talking to myself, I finally went back to the boarding house. Still feeling so dumb for actually letting Blake get to me for letting myself get caught up in the game I created. But guess what? I won. Like I always knew I would.

I strolled in the house and threw my jacket onto the couch and went straight for my bourbon. Yum. Time for a victory drink.

Stefan was sitting on the couch, a smile appeared on his face. I didn't question it. I just sat down in a chair across from him. We didn't say anything just glared at each other. He knew I was mad at him.

After about twenty minutes he said something. " Where were you last night?"

" Does it matter. Oh wait, everything I do matters. "

" Where you with Blake? " Instead of smirking, a sinister smile spread across my face.

" Yep. "

" Why aren't you with her now? " Oh brother do you not know where your girlfriend is right now.

" I believe she is with your girlfriend. You know communication is good in a relationship. " I said while standing up.

" What would you know about relationships? Not like you ever had a successful one. No one has ever really wanted you Damon." Now our witty banter was turning into something else. The smirk fell from my face I instantly ran forward and was up in his face. " Did I strike a nerve Damon? Did Blake not want you either? " I pushed him forward then casually walked back to the bar to compose myself. I wasn't going to let him get to me that easily.

" Oh trust me brother. She wanted me, allllllllllll last night. Some girls just cant resist me. " I gave him a wink and went back to filling my glass.

" Only the easy ones. "

" Apparently Blake fits in that category. No. Compulsion. Necessary. " I took a large gulp of my drink watching Stefan with careful eyes.

" So what are you going to do now Damon? You finally got into her pants. I mean, I don't understand. Why are you doing this to her? " I thought about that. What was my goal now?

" Its fun brother. And last night she was... she was great. Really it was just a little extra perk that she was good in bed. " He still didn't do anything. I smiled at him. "Oh Stefan your no fun! Why cant you be like one of your little football friends and be giving me high fives and be all 'you da man!'?" I said while mocking the stereotypical high school jock. I started walking towards the hallway when Stefan said something rigfht before I could turn the corner.

" Did you even care Damon? I was beginning to feel guilty about all my prying I've been doing. I don't want to be in your business anymore Damon. I thought you were actually changing and I thought she meant something to you. What is she just not good enough for you? " I turned around to look at him.

" No, Stefan its not that she isn't good enough for me, I just got what I wanted and now its time to move on. "

I heard a thud and my head snapped at where the sound came from. Green eyes were boring in my eyes. I was seeing the last person I ever thought I'd run into right now.

I looked at Elena who had a big smile on her face while looking at me. She looked towards Blake and her smile instantly disappeared. I could see the instant guilt that filled her. She went to comfort Blake but she shook her off.

In that moment I knew all a long all the things I said to Stefan and all the things I thought in the car were wrong. Just by looking in her eyes she cleared up every questionably thought I had. How much had she heard?

A single tear ran down her face and she hesitantly turned around not saying a word and started to walk down the hallway which led to the door. " Blake... wait! " I ran and at human pace towards her. She opened the door and looked at me. Tears were running down her face. She stared at me long and hard and walked out the door. I wanted to follow her, I really did but I couldn't. I turned around to see Stefan running towards the door and out onto the front yard after Blake. When he caught up to her, he said something then they started walking towards his car.

I slammed the front door not knowing how I was going to fix this. Ignoring Elena's gaze, I walked right past her straight to my whiskey then right up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door.

_**AN: So I wrote a similar chapter but I slept on it and decided that I had to change it. In the original Damon did something so horrible and was trying to get Stefan to eat Blake saying she puts bunnies to shame and I just had no clue how I could come back with it and the whole thing Blake walked in on was planned by Stefan and Elena after Jeremy confided in Stefan about how he didn't want Damon to hurt Blake. Oh and Stefan and Blake had a sweet little moment. And it was like 5000 words and mostly SPOV. I really really really wanted to post it but I just didn't know how I would continue with future chapters. **_

_**PS. I started this story out of nowhere, I never thought of a plot I just sat down one day and started writing and its funny because I had intended it to be a Delena fic but after 300 words I changed my mind but every time I sit down and write I don't have anything planned, I just wing it. But I did have a plan of these events in this chapter happening. So if you want anything to happen I can add whatever because I never have any idea what the next chapter will be in till I start writing it. **_


	11. I fade a little more each day

_**I can't see why you keeping it a secret**_

_**when what you feel's so deep, just let it show.**_

_**It only takes a second to begin**_

_**and all I want to do is let you in.**_

_**-I m the one by Ke$ha**_

DPOV.

This was the worst thing that could of happen. Saint Stefan just had to be the only one allowed to be happy. I was so pissed. I was pacing back and forth my room thinking of the words I could say to fix this. It felt next to impossible. Stefan just got back a little bit ago. I had to get out of this place. I walked out of my room and downstairs to see Stefan and Elena making out on the couch. Are they serious right now? I took a book that was laying on the table and chucked it at them. With a hard look on my face.

" Celebrating? Are you feeling really good right now? " Stefan got up off the couch and walked up to me with so he was in my face. " I really hope your happy Stefan. You've done what you do best. Take away everything and anything I've ever cared about away. It would be unnatural if you stopped now. "

" Damon, you cant blame this one on me. You did all that by yourself. Don't act like your upset she's even gone. There was nothing you even found interesting. You said it yourself. " I grabbed the chair standing next to us and broke its leg off and rammed it in to Stefan stomach in less then a second.

" Don't act like you know how I feel and what I think. Because this feeling... " I said while jabbing the wood in even deeper as Stefan hung over the piece of wood and my arm in pain. "Doesn't even compare to what you have caused." I let go of Stefan and started walking to the door. I heard Elena call my name.

" Where are you going? "

" Well Elena I have to find Blake. She was strong, but lately she hasn't been strong enough." I said while walking out of the house. I didn't even think about going to her house. The first place I went was the bridge. I knew she would be there.

BPOV

Stefan was driving me home in silence. I didn't even want to look at him. It just reminded me of the other brother. I couldn't think. My world has been broken when I was finally picking up the pieces. It was all a lie. I never had all the things I thought I wanted. I never had Damon. I never had love and I damn sure didn't have anything else. It was just me.

Stefan pulled up to my house, and I got out not even thanking him or looking back. I walked up the stairs to find all the lights from my house on. Mother must be home. I ran up to the house to find out what was going on and looked back to see Stefan driving away.

" Mom?" I went inside to find my mom on the kitchen floor sitting with a bottle of vodka in here hands staring off into space. I went over to try to pick her and put her on the couch. She slapped my hand away when I tried to help her. I ignored her and still tried to get her up. These are usually how our nights went. I'd find her in some random spot pick her up, clean her puke off the floor and her face, and put her to bed. Tonight of all nights, I didn't need this. I got to the point I wasn't even mad at her anymore. I just went through my routine, ignoring the insults she threw at me that hurt me more then I'd ever admit.

" Mom you need to get on the couch, take this bag. " I said while giving her a plastic bag, because on many occasions she hasn't made it to the bathroom in time or even tried to. When she got into the living room I went into the kitchen to start cleaning up her mess. I was picking stuff up from the ground when my knees gave out and I let every emotion hit me all at once. I sat on the kitchen floor leaning against the oven just crying. I didn't know how long I sat there, but it wasn't long enough till I heard my mom mumble something about my paycheck. I didn't know how I was going to explain I got fired but I figured she will probably black this all out. Wont remember a thing in the morning.

" Mom... I got fired. Money is going to be really tight. " I watched as she screamed out in anger and pathetically jumped off the couch and stumbled over to me. She didn't say anything but slapped me across the face.

" You couldn't even do one thing right and keep a job. Your useless. Your good at nothing! Why are you even around?" I was staring at the ground, too ashamed to look at her. " Why don't you just leave! That's it leave! Don't come back! You, beyond anything in my life, were my biggest mistake! " I still couldn't look at her. She was kicking me out, and I was the one supporting her, the only one who was around. It would be selfish of me to leave her here all by herself. But I couldn't take it anymore. I walked to my room slammed the door. I went and grabbed a sweatshirt and made sure I was warm enough. I walked out of my house with absolutely nothing. I had no where to go. On my way out I picked up a new bottle of vodka that sat on the counter and walked out without turning back or saying goodbye.

I had nothing. I had nobody. I didn't have a family. I didn't have Justin. I never even had Damon, contrary of what I thought. I had no friends. I didn't even have a home.

I ended up walking right up to Wickery bridge sipping on my bottle. The day was still cold and the air nipped a little at your skin but it wasn't unbearable. Tears were still unconsciously streaming down my face. I thought back from the recent events and I found myself just so tired. So tired of living. So tired of the fake smiles. So tired of taking care of my mother who didn't even want help. So tired of losing it all. So tired of being betrayed. I feel like I'm falling apart. Everything in me is screaming to end it all but there's this little part in my brain telling me that's the most ridiculous thought I've ever had. But whose never thought about it before? Whose never thought about ending it all. You cant deny it. Everyone has had the thought before. Most instantly regret it and common sense kicks in telling themselves how ridiculous that is. Everyone says suicide is not the answer. Then what is? What is the answer for this situation. Hurt some more? It feels like life is punishing me. I picked up the bottle of vodka and chugged it, not even flinching at the burning and instant reject taste it had in my mouth. Maybe this was a sign. I had nowhere to go. Had no future plans. Couldn't even see a future. Maybe this bridge, this bridge was my future. Maybe I should just end it all right now. It would take. what? Like 4 seconds to hit the water. Probably drown, with all the liquor in me I wouldn't be able to make it. I heard drowning was very peaceful. Damon once said I survived. But that's it I survived but I'm tired of surviving. But there's gotta be some other possibilities...

" What if I just left mystic falls? Maybe one day this would all be just a distant memory. " I said out loud talking to myself.

" Hell it's not like I'd be missed. " I said while taking another swig. "You know I could go to Boston. I could go to... uh Spain! Or even better yet I could go to Italy." Another mouthful of vodka slid down my throat. "I could learn french. I could even learn Japanese. What about Tokyo?" Another swig. I could do so much then just sit around and rot here. Dontcha think?" I rambled on talking to myself.

I sat with my legs hanging over the bridge with my arms wrapped around the bottom railing. I let my legs dangle and I laid down onto my back just staring into the sky. It looked beautiful. I closed my eyes and just thought about what it would feel like to feel nothing. Ha that's an oxymoron. I can be just so hilarious sometimes. I giggled a little in till I heard a snap of a twig. I immediately snapped up, getting dizzy in the process. I looked behind me then to my left and saw nothing. I went back to looking straight ahead when I felt wind on my right side. I didn't even need to look to know who it was. I just sat forward and leaned on the railing again, not saying anything. Being stubborn not even looking at his face. I didn't want him to think all of my wallowing was because of him. I was drowning in self pity tonight and I wasn't going to let him take credit for it.

" You hate me now, I'm sure. " I didn't even look when he spoke. Just grabbed my bottle and took another long swig of it. I felt him yanking the bottle away. As he was pulling it I went with the bottle not taking my mouth off it in till he pulled it away from my grasp spilling a little on me and putting it on his other side. " What are you doing with this Blake? " I frowned. I really liked that bottle. I was pouting and looking in the other direction. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be near him. But right now I had nowhere to go and if I got up I would probably just fall on my face and he'd never leave me alone. " Aren't you going to say anything?"

" What do you want from me Damon? Have you not taking enough away? " Still deliberately not looking at him.

" Blake I didn't mean it! " You've got to be kidding me.

" Sure you did Damon. You don't have to cover your tracks, I'm not mad at you. You used me. I was foolish this whole time. I was always suspicious of you just coming and befriending me and I had confidence issues with your intentions, but now it makes a lot of sense . I shouldn't have expected anything else. From you, from me. See I don't get things like you. " I said pointing up and down his body. " I don't get the nice boyfriend who wants me for me. I don't get a happy ending. I don't get anything. And I'm not mad at you, like I said before, I'm mad at myself for believing in you. Cause I did, Damon, I really did. After finding out your secret, putting up with your nonsense and sarcastic remarks I still accepted you. But you never even thought about accepting me because I wasn't planned on being in your future. It just hurts to think I would have... I would of given you everything I had left. " I said while laying back down.

" Blake. I'm the one to blame and I will forever tell you I didn't mean it. Stefan was provoking me! I wouldn't of said those things! "

" See you wouldn't of said it but that doesn't change the fact you did it. Did you even like me Damon? Or was this a big plan that you had to just hurt me? Cause you got what you've wanted. You hurt me. Congratulations. " I said not letting a single tear fall.

"I know you feel betrayed but..." I cut him off.

" No Damon! No buts. You just wanted to get laid! You were right. You didn't mean it. You're so goddamn immature! "

" Blake there's nothing I can say to fix this but remember we are the same! You have nobody! Well guess what I have nobody too! I've messed my whole life up and now I messed it up all over again! Blake I started off wanting to do those things I told Stefan but you've changed me! After a while those intentions got mixed in with real feelings and I... I felt it all for you! "

" Damon... I will never forgive you. " The words came out with such passion. I wanted to feel it. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to never want him again. That doesn't mean that's how it was.

" Yes you will. I'm not giving up. I'm not going to let you sit on this bridge and drink yourself to death. " He said while grabbing the bottle and shaking it in front of my face. " Do you really want to be like her Blake? Do you really want to be the next disappointment of the Mudock family?" This is when the tears started to run again. He really knew how to make me feel ashamed. I tried so hard to be strong in front of him but I was breaking.

" She kicked me out Damon. I got fired. Couldn't help her the way she needed it. I'm already a disappointment. "

" Blake you haven't done anything to be a disappointment. I not going to let that happen. " I shivered at the feeling of the air hitting me hard again.

" How can you say that Damon? "

" Because I know you and you have so much potential to make something of your life." I shivered again at his words and then at the air. " Why don't we go back to the boarding house. Where its warm. We can talk. "

" I don't forgive you Damon. Don't think for one second I do just because I'm sitting here with you and I'm not going anywhere else with you. "

" Come on, you have school tomorrow, you have to go somewhere. " School? Seriously?

" Eff school! " I slurred a little. Maybe I was a little bit more drunk then I thought.

" My, my language Miss Blake...Eff school? Seriously Blake. Eff? " He was making fun of me. Nooooo way!

" Yes. Eff school and Eff you too. "

" You already did that. "

" Worst. Timing. Ever. " I wanted to slap that smirk right off his face but instead I just laid back down on the cold bridge. A couple seconds later he laid next to me in the same position. It felt like hours went by of silence but probably just minutes. Surprisingly it wasn't awkward. It was filled with tension but I didn't feel the need to say something. He knew where I stood in the situation. I wasn't hiding anything. But I couldn't say the same for him. " I'd be happy just to stare at the sky forever. "

" Never say forever, its longer then you think. "

" Has it been long for you? " I shifted my head so I was looking at him. He was still staring at the sky.

" Terribly unbearable. "

" That's because you weren't happy. Misery isn't the best pastime. " He turned his head to look at me like how I'd done.

" I'm sure you know all about misery. "

I felt the need for answers and this may be my only chance.

" Why Damon? Just tell me why. " I watched him take a deep breath and reposition himself so he was looking at the sky again. I reached my hand out grabbing his jaw and turning his face back towards mine. It pissed me off. He was going to look me in the eyes and tell me why. I was owed that much.

" The first time I saw you, wasn't when you had your little backpack issue and broke down on the sidewalk. " My brow furrowed. What? I wasn't expecting that. " I had a horrible night. I needed to get out of my house so I went for a walk and ended up in the cemetery. You were there crying. Talking to...Justin. You were saying things and in that moment it felt like you were saying everything that has crossed my mind lately. I felt a pull towards you. And then I was angry. It was only me that was supposed to feel this. I didn't want someone else to recognize the pain me, like how I did with you. I was and still am a bad man, Blake. I do things to people because I like to be hated. My life is filled with hate and I wanted you to hate me too. "

" Maybe that's why eternity had been so unbearable. " I said a little bitterly. " Did you know about Justin this whole time? Did you seriously do that to me knowing what I've been through! "

" I knew you lost someone. The only one you cared about. I didn't know your story Blake but if I did I would of done it anyways. " I wanted to understand, I really did but I couldn't.

" I'm so mad at you right now. I cant even find the words. " I said while looking back at the sky.

" So now you're admitting that your mad at me? "

" You totally played me, thinking you actually cared and- "

" Don't act like you thought that anything between us was actually going to happen. " He sat up and looked pissed. He had no right to be pissed. I'm supposed to be the angry one right now! "You've got it stuck in your head that Justin was the last and the only one who could ever love you. "

" Well its true Damon! You proved it! " I said while sitting up too.

" After everything I've ever told you, you seriously believe that?"

" Yes! You never meant a word of it. It makes me regret everything that I said that was good about you." He looked like I was crazy.

" I meant it all Blake and so did you. " I couldn't believe him. This situation was so screwed up.

" I'm getting this crazy feeling nothing is amazing. " I tried so hard to make him fall in love with me.

" Don't ever give up Blake. "

" Damon you don't care, You said it yourself."

" Yes I do. I say a lot of things I don't mean Blake." My head snapped in his direction.

" Clearly..." It came out a little harsher then I expected.

" Secret's out, that I just might care about you." This is all I have.

" Well Damon. Secret's out that I once did care about you, not anymore. " I want to say so much more. I wanted to say I still care and that I could forgive him but that will never happen.

" Nothing's ever permanent. You do care, I know you do. " I thought about his words. He was right I do care, more then is good for me. But I couldn't let that affect me.

I took a deep breath and said. " Your right I do care. "

In that moment I thought he was going to make some remark but he did the opposite he leaned in and his lips were on mine faster then I thought possible. His lips were resting on mine and I wanted to kiss him back. More then anything in my life but I couldn't. I gently pushed on his chest and he moved away instantly.

" Don't Damon. " He leaned in again but I pushed him before he good reach me. " Please Damon. You've already broken me, don't put me through it again. " His beautiful eyes were glued to mine. He gently stood up from our position on the bridge and he took my hand. " What are you doing?" He didn't say anything but pulled me up. The world was spinning so fast I couldn't keep my legs straight. My body felt heavy and loose. The alcohol is really getting to me. I tried my best to compose myself and concentrate on standing up straight.

" You look pathetic. "

" Well you are pathetic. " I snapped back. He laughed without humor and picked me up placing me on his back. I loved his piggyback rides but this wasn't the time to admit that or be on him.

" I don't want to be even touching you right now, so why would you think I'd be okay with my body wrapped around yours. " Even though I was holding on and he already started walking, I was dead set on complaining.

" It's not like your body has never been wrapped around me before, with fewer clothes may I add. " Bringing that up again? Really?

" Ew"

" And I know you loved it from what I heard. "

" You know I wasn't going to tell you this before, but It wasn't that great. " I said while whispering in his ear. " But considering your the biggest dick I know, I'm okay with telling you this. "

" Did you just say I had the biggest-" I cut him off before he could finish that.

" Yes." Wait. "I mean no." I made myself confused.

" Its obvious that you cant deny it. It wasn't just a slip of the tongue. "

" No demon, Oh wait I meant Damon. Guess it was just a ' slip of the tongue'. You apply to both though."

" Just like the fact I'm a dick with a gigantic, enormous, over sized-"

" Damonnnnnnnnn."

" Ego. And the way you just said my name is very familiar. "

" Stop making jokes. I still hate you. " Forgetting that we were actually walking somewhere I looked around, he was barely walking more like drifting. " Where are we? Where are we going? Why are you so slow, hurry up."

" One at a time. We are on a road. " No shit. " We are going to my place and you're so freaking heavy. What do you weigh like 360?"

" Are you calling me fat now? After all of what you've done you're calling me fat? And even if I did weigh 360, which is three of me, You could be running a marathon with me on your back. Don't forget I know your secret, we could be home by now. I could be asleep in your amazing bed, but you're not going to be in it BTW, and I would be able to pee. I just noticed I really gotta go. Could we attach reigns to you so I could ride you like a horse and determine what speed I wanna go at and don't you dare make a joke about me already riding you and-"

He cut me off saying " You're rambling again Blake. Remind me to only get you drunk when you're in a good mood." While I was talking I didn't realize we were already at the boarding house. He opened the door while kicking it shut with his foot and walked up the stairs to his room and straight to the bathroom. " Now I don't believe you need my help with this. " He rested me against the counter and I let go of him, watching as he walked out and closed the door.

After I was done I went out to see him laying on his bed right in the middle. I stumbled over and collapsed on the opposite side in the middle. " I really shouldn't be here Damon. "

" I know but you have no where else to go. "

" I know. "

"So what are we now? " I thought this over. Enemies or friends? What does he want?

" I'm not your friend, I'm not your anything. But that doesn't mean we cant be civil."

" One day you'll be my friend again. "

" That big maybe Salvatore. "

**AN: ITS MONDAYY!**

**Watcha think? I was gonna put it into 2 parts but I didnt know where to cut it off so I hope it wasnt too long. **

**REVIEW! **

**Oh and that reminds me I have a new story! Its called Hic et Nunc. Thats latin for here and now. **

**Summery. **

**Elena walks in on Stefan with another girl so she breaks up with him. Stefan leaves Mystic Falls with his new girl. When senior year comes around Stefan comes back. Elena doesn't want to face Stefan alone so she asks Damon to pretend to be dating her which he happy obliges to. **


	12. Be good or be good at it

_**What you touch you don't feel**_

_**Do not know what you steal**_

_**Destroy everything you touch **_

_**Please destroy me this way**_

_**- Destroy Everything You Touch by Ladytron **_

BPOV

I was rolling around on Damon's bed super bored. It been a hour since he dragged me over here away from my bridge and it was now dark out. I was slowly sobering up and I just didn't know what to do with myself. He's been downstairs talking on his phone for like ever. I was still very mad at him for what he did, but since he was trying, I'd give him a shot at a friendship. But I don't see how I could ever let him in again. I could never let him cross the barrier.

After all my dramatic rolling around I found myself upside down with my head at the bottom of the bed and my body stretched out all over the place. I'm sure when he came up he was going to be mad at me. There were pillows on the floor, I don't know what happened to his comforter and the sheets were all wrapped around me, no longer tucked in. I smiled to myself. He could deal. I heard the door creak open and I looked in the direction.

" That's attractive. " I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic. " What happened? " He said while picking up a pillow.

" I was bored... and restless. "

" I can tell. " He took the pillow and whapped me right in the face. I didn't move just sat there with the pillow resting over my head.

" This is why I hate you. " It sounded a bit muffled but I'm sure he could here me.

" No. This is why you love me. " He threw the pillow off of me and picked up my legs so he could sit down.

" Hate. "

" Love."

" Hate. "

" Love."

" No, No, No, No, No. Hate." I sat up to look at him.

" You have some crazy hair right now. " He said while trying to pat it down.

" Now so do you. " I said while ruffling his hair up and smiling. My smile faded a little when all it did was made him look hotter. That was no fair.

" What are you doing tonight? "He said while fixing his hair.

" I am destroying your room some more. "

" No, we are going out. " I frowned. I know we were back to our old selves but I still really didn't want him to think I forgave him so easily. I was still very heartbroken.

" What does going out entail? "

" There is this club, in the next town over, I heard about. You could get all your excess energy out. " I didn't like the sound of this.

"Damon... I of all people do not belong in a club and I have nothing to wear, its Sunday night nobody will like be there and I wont get in. "

" Trust me you'll get in. We will just steal some of Elena's clothes and its still technically the weekend. "

" Fine, but when it sucks and we have to drive all the way back, I'm going to say I told you so, on repeat. And I'm doing whatever I want when we get there. "

" Good, because I didn't plan on spending my time with you. "

" Sureeeeee." I said as he left.

After about 4 hours of doing nothing, then getting ready it was about midnight when we finally left the house. I still cant believe I was doing this. It took about 20 minutes for us to finally get there. We walked inside and it was exactly what I thought it was going to look like. There was a glass bar with metal stools and blue lights lit up everywhere. Then there was a dance floor with blue and pink lights moving. It took awhile for my eyes to adjust to all the movement. And then I laughed. This place was built for probably about 300 people and there was only around 50. I looked up at Damon while still laughing.

" It's not the biggest crowd. "

" You think? "

" But I think I can manage, you on the other hand... "

" What are you trying to say? " I said while turning towards him.

" You know what I'm trying to say. "

" Fine then. Wanna make a bet? " I said while smiling. This perked his interest as he turned towards me.

" Do you really think you can win? Against me of all people? " I just smiled at him. " Okay, what is it? "

" I bet I can get more phone numbers then you can. " I laughed as his eyebrows shot up.

" And what happens when I win this bet? " I haven't thought about this.

" When I win, you have to...I get to borrow your car for a day. "

" And when I win you're going to let me kiss you. " Figures he would say something like that. I frowned but decided that I was going to win anyway.

" Deal. Oh and you can't compel anyone. In a hour we'll talk. " I said while smiling and walking off towards the bar leaving him behind.

I started right away making small talk with the first guy I saw. I was playing dirty and going for all the creepers. There were a couple short fat guys with no hair that gave it up almost instantly. The only trouble I was getting was the guys who just wanted me to go home with them, or spend alone time in the bathroom. Gross. I just ignored them and moved on to the next one. Every once in a while I would look over to see Damon chatting up a new girl. It was making me nervous and if I was been completely honest, I was a tad jealous. But I still really did not want to kiss him.

I was walking towards the dance floor when my eye caught a guy sitting at a table in the far corner alone. I already had 6 numbers and figured I was still allowed to have fun. I walked up to the guy. He had dark blond hair and was very buff, not really my type but he was good looking enough to spend time on. I sat down next to him and we started talking. His name was Joey, he wasn't very funny and he would laugh at his own jokes constantly. I wasn't into him but I figured why not. I stood up while taking his hand and walking back towards the dance floor. We started dancing to an up beat techno song. Then it got a little slower. Joey was pressed up on me, making it little uncomfortable but I went with it.

I flipped my hair back and turned my head towards the bar to see Damon staring at me looking pissed off. I stopped dancing for a second, confused but then shrugged it off. I went back to practically grinding on the guy and when I turned my head again a couple minutes later, Damon was still staring. This time I smiled and gave a little wave while taking Joey's hand and leading him toward the bar.

" Hey Damon. How's your night going so far? "

" Perfect." He said a little snappy. If I wasn't mistaken he sounded jealous. A malicious smile crept on my face. " I thought you didn't like dancing Blake? "

" I don't like dancing. But I do like dancing with my friend. Oh how rude of me, this is Joey. " I said while gesturing towards him .

" Joey this is- " Before I could finish Damon cut me off.

" We've been here awhile, don't you think we should go? "

" Oh okay." I turned towards Joey and hugged him a little longer then necessary. " I'll call you. " I winked and looked at Damon who looked annoyed. He grabbed my hand and started dragging me out of the club. I was waving the whole time towards Joey. Once we got outside I burst out laughing. " That was fun! "

" Yea I noticed. You were having a blast. "

" Yea I mean did you see Joey? His muscular body, the way he dances and held on to me so tight, oh and the way he said my name. It gave me shivers! " We were about to get into Damon's car when I saw his face. He looked so mad. It made me laugh so hard.

" Relax Damon. Joey is the polar opposite of anything I find attractive. I'm just kidding. " I got in his car and closed the door watching as she strode by getting into the other side.

" So what was with the ' I'll call you'." He said while mocking me in a high voice.

" Your face was too entertaining not to do it. " He smiled and looked at me.

" Oh so that was all a show? For me. Wow didn't know I mattered that much. "

" You don't. Oh so how many did you get? "

" I got Nine." No! No. No. No. No. No. I knew that he knew I lost because it was written all over my face. " Spent too much time on Joey. " I huffed and slide down in my seat.

" I hate you. "

" I know. "

We drove in silence for the rest of the way. When we pulled up to the house and I got out and quickly walked to the door. I went to open it but It was locked.

" Since when do you lock this? " I watched as Damon was getting the key.

" Since you're going to be living here. "

" I'm what? " Did I just hear him right?

" You're staying here. I already decided. "

" You decided? I get no say in this? No Damon. No way. " He opened the door a little and then slipped in and closed it in my face. I was surprised so I started pounding on the door.

" Damon! What the hell! " I heard him laugh and then yell through the door.

" What do you want Blake?"

" Let me in! " I was looking around outside. We were right by the woods and it was scary at night.

" But you're not staying here. Why would you come in at 2 am. I'm not a booty call. "

" Shut up Damon and let me in. I'll stay. It cold and freaky out here! " The door opened to a smirking Damon.

"I always get my way. " I went inside and walked right past him to the stairs. He was in front of me and started walking backwards up the stairs. " So what about my kiss? " I stopped and looked at him.

" What kiss? " I watched as his eyes went wide and I stepped to the side trying to pass him. But of course he stepped right in my direction.

" Oh no no no. You're not getting off that easy. A deals a deal." Once we got to the top of the stairs I ran for the his door. Hoping I would be fast enough but knowing I wouldn't. Right when I got to the door he was standing in the frame.

" That's not fair! "

" No Blake. What not fair is you not going through with a bet. " He slowly was walking towards me and I was backing up till I hit the wall. His face was dangerously close to mine and he brought his hands up to the wall, one on either side of me, trapping me there with his arms. " Blake, I was never faithful, and I was never one to trust. I was never loyal except for my own pleasure zone and I was never grateful, that's why I spend my days alone. But you don't know how bad I want to hear you say, how'd you trust in me again. "

I was looking into his eyes and so badly wanted to believe him. I wanted to fall for every word he said but now I knew how he liked to play games and that's all I was to him. A game. I was so delusional before. I wasn't going to let it happen again.

" I'd let you see the best of me."

It was only a slight whisper and I closed my eyes to it. I opened my eyes and tried my best to not show how much things like this affected me.

" Everyone I know, goes away in the end. See things are different with me Damon. I'm not like all those other girls you've probably said that exact same thing too. I wont buy it. Who are kidding? You already knew that. You know how skeptical I am of people. People lie. They leave. Damon, you lied, and you'll leave too. "

" Blake I'm being honest. I'm trying to show you, to give you all I have. "

I smiled at his words at played with the buttons on his shirt. " Damon. You're more jaded, then you let show and your sweet when you wanna be. I believe your capable of really anything. Problem is... I just don't believe you. " I let go of his shirt and he backed up a little letting one arm drop. He was looking at the floor and I could tell he was thinking. I quickly leaned forward and pecked his lips as fast as I could and leaned back against the wall. He looked up shocked.

" A deals a deal. " I leaned off the wall and walked around him for the room and went to the bed. I sat down on the edge and carefully slid off my shoes watching as Damon didn't move from his position. He then shifted and turned towards me. His left hand gently rested on his jaw.

" You said everyone goes away. But I'm not them and they're not me. Once you get that through your head. You could be so much happier. "

I didn't say anything back. I just watched as he left and walked down the hallway leaving me alone.

_**AN: So now that impure Thursday is over I decided to post this early. I may or may not have a chapter on monday because I ditched school for a week, so I have a lot of catching up to do. I swear my life has only been school, work, and sleep but I try to get some writing in whenever I can. **_

_**( Its impure Thursday because I have impure thoughts about almost every guy on TVD. )**_

_**So I was really iffy about this chapter and I'm a little struck for ideas but at the same time ideas like death, pregnancies, moving away, new vampires, etc are flowing through my head. I'm not even sure if this story will have a happy ending. So give me your opinions. **_

_**Thanks for reading. **_


	13. Better times seems further and beyond

_**It hurts but never show**_

_**This pain you'll never know**_

_**If only you can see just how lonely and how cold and frostbit I've become**_

_**-Drop the world by lil wayne feat Eminem.**_

It was around 6:30am that I awoke someone shaking me. All the lights in the room were on and Damon was hovering an inch away over my face.

" School time! "

" Damon! I've only been sleeping for like 3 hours!"

" Excuses, Excuses. " He said, still not moving away from my face.

" I will puke on you! Don't think I'm joking I will do it! " That got him to back away.

" Ewww gross." He said in a hushed sarcastic whisper. " Now get up. "

I lazily got out of the bed making Damon move in the process. No way in hell I'm going to school, but he doesn't need to know that. I grabbed Damon's blanket and wrapped it around me and went towards the bathroom.

" Fine I'll take a shower. " He just smirked and left the room. I went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I found a good spot on the floor to make my little bed. I turned off the lights and laid down and went back to sleep.

It wasn't too long till I heard banging on the bathroom door. I tried my best to ignore it but damn that man can be persistent.

" Go away! " That is when the door burst open and the lights turned on to an angry looking Damon. " I could of been naked! "

" But your not. How unfortunate for me. " While he was talking he picked up my feet and started dragging me out of the bathroom leaving my bundle of blankets.

" No! No! No! " He was dragging me out of the bedroom towards the stairs. " What are you going to do, drag me down the stairs? "

" Don't tempt me. " He said while picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder in less then a second. I kicked him, and punched him, having a fit but he still didn't even budge while walking down the stairs.

" Why are you doing this! " I saw that we were heading towards the front door so I kicked even harder.

" Because you are going to school! " He said while opening the door and heading to his car.

" Your making me go to school looking like this! They will probably send me home. I look like I just did the walk of shame! " He just threw me into the car and closed the door.

" I gave you enough time this morning. You choose to sleep it away. "

" I'm never talking to you again. Ever!" I was beyond mad at him and still persistent that I wasn't going to school. " I don't even have shoes. "

" Yes you do, I grabbed your shoes on the way out. " He went behind my chair and showed my shoes.

" Damon there is makeup running down my face, my hair is puffed up and I'm like about to die from no sleep! "

" Stop whining and making excuses. " We pulled up to my school.

" I'm not getting out. " I crossed my arms and glared at him.

" Do you really want to make a scene? "

" Damon Salvatore if you get out of this car I'll kill you! " He immediately got out of the car and went around to my door. I quickly locked it and smiled as he came to the locked door. I rolled down the window a little bit. " Door must be jammed. I guess you just have to take me home, unless you really want to break the lock on your car? " I know he wouldn't risk damaging his car.

I was wrong.

" Do you really think I care?" He said while easily opening the door. I did my best to jump in to the back seat. I got half way and held on as hard as I could to the headrest in the back. Damon wraped his arms around my waist and pulled me right out of the car. I grabbed on to the seat belt with my legs flying around in the air. " I'm going to drop you. "

" You wouldn't dare! " He then dropped me right onto the grass and casually walked back to his side of the car and got in. I stood up trying to get the grass off the dress and Damon drove off. " Asshole! " I screamed after him.

I then realized a little crowd grew around me. Oh great. I quickly walked off trying to find a bathroom. On my way, I saw Jeremy getting his books out of his locker. I ran to him.

" Jeremy! I need a favor. " His head was in his locker so he couldn't see me.

" Blake? "

" Yea."

" Whats up?"

" Can you please give me your hoodie! It's an emergency." He laughed and closed his locker and looked at me. He went from gently laughing to shocked and then to laughing even harder.

" I see why." He said while unzipping his sweatshirt. " What happened to you? "

" Well I was out last night and I didn't plan coming to school but someone quite literately forced me to come... right out of bed. " He just laughed.

"Sounds like you had a rough morning."

" Understatement." I put on his hoodie quickly while zipping it and covering my hair. " How bad do I look now? " He shrugged a little.

" Not too bad... sorta. Hey why don't you just ditch with me? "

" Because I'm sure I'd be dragged back, just like I was dragged here this morning. And when I say drag, I mean literately dragged."

The bell rang and we went our separate ways. The morning went very slow. I fell asleep in most of my classes, which I got yelled at for and once it was lunch time I didn't think I could do it anymore. I went into the bathroom to call Damon. It rang for what felt like hours and he finally picked up.

" What are you doing? School is not over."

" Damon I'm so tired. I've been here half a day, my next classes aren't important. Just come get me! "

" I cant. I'm in the middle of something. "

" Come on Damon! "

" Sorry. "

Then the line went dead. I wanted to throw my phone against the wall. I angrily walked out of the bathroom, going through my contact list thinking of someone to call. Being so caught up in my anger I didn't see the body I just ran into. I dropped my phone in the process, I bent down to pick it up and when I stood up, I found the person I ran right into was Stefan. Great. Could this day get any better?

" Sorry Stefan. " I tried walking past him but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

" Blake... I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for what happened before with Damon. I really am, and so is Elena. "

" Its okay Stefan. Damon adn I talked it out. " His face turned into a mask of confusion.

" Wait so you and Damon are friends again?"

" Yea, You were probably sleeping but I stayed at the boarding house last night. Damon's kind of making me stay with you guys. I hope that's okay. "

" Ya its fine, I just don't understand how you could forgive, let alone even look at him. "

" Well if his plan was to just get with me then leave me alone, he wouldn't of been begging me just to be his friend again and there is nothing between Damon and I that will ever happen again. Never. "

" Never say never when it comes to Damon and no offense but you look like hell. "

" Oh yea I know. You can thank your idiot brother for that. He made me come here. I just got off the phone with him trying to convince him to come get me, but of course he is busy. "

" Oh I could take you back. I was actually bout to leave myself. "

" Really? Thanks."

We walked towards the parking lot in silence. When I was about to get into the car I felt eyes on me. I looked around but didn't see anyone. The car ride was silent and a little awkward and I still felt like someone was watching me. When we got back to the house I thanked him and we went off and did our own thing. I went into the living room and laid down on the couch. It didn't take long to fall asleep.

After a long dreamless nap, I woke to someone poking me in my face. I really wanted to kill whoever was doing this. I was still beyond tired. I opened my eyes to see Damon standing above me.

" You got to stop doing that. It's creepy. "

" Wake up. "

" No...Why? "

" Because we need to do some bonding." He said bonding in a sing song voice.

" And how would we do that? "

" Pumpkin carving?"

" No."

" Walk in the park?"

" No."

" We can make dinner together. "

" How about you lay there. " I said while motioning towards the opposite side of the couch. " And I will lay here, and we can take a nap together. Bondinggggg. " I said it the same way he did.

" No , come on you've had plenty of time to sleep. " I shifted up to look at him.

" No I really haven't because you so rudely didn't let me sleep today, what was with that?"

" Oh just a little payback for your little shenanigans last night. " I just glared while he smirked. The usual. " Alright, what are we going to do?"

" Fine, you go pick up stuff to make dinner from the grocery store, because you are seriously lacking on the food in here and I will sleep. When you get back I'll help. Deal? "

" Deal. " He said while getting up and walking away. " Oh and Stefan's out so your going to be home alone."

When he left I tried to go back to sleeping. I was just about to drift off when I heard the floor creak very loudly. My eyes opened and I shot up, looking around but not seeing anything. I just brushed it off at being the old house. I leaned back down in till I heard it again. I look toward the sound and saw Elena standing gracefully by the fire place. She must of been hit with the fashion bug over night, it looked like someone gave her a makeover.

" Hey Elena..." Didn't Damon say I'd be here alone?

" Hello Blake. " She said my name with such distaste. What is going on?

" I didn't know you were here, before Damon left he said no one was going to be home. "

" Oh Damon. " She casually walked towards the chair next to the couch and sat down. Something was really off with her and I didn't understand.

" Elena your acting strange. "

" Well, you see Blake I'm kind of mad at you. "

" What? Why would you be mad at me?" She just crossed her legs slowly and looked at me. Her face held no emotion.

" You know Damon, he loved me first. He still does love me." What the hell? " Your distracting him and I don't like that. See Blake I could like you. You remind me of myself years ago, everyone you love dying or just giving up on you. I know what its like so I'm going to make this easy. I'm going to give you an ultimatum. Either you convince Damon you could never love him and leave, or I will come back into his life and right before your eyes I'll make him remember just how much he loves me and how foolish he was to think he had fallen for you. He'll choose between me and you." She got closer to my face and whispered. " Guess who he's gonna choose? "

" Elena...?"

" Its Katherine. "

And with that she disappeared. I frantically looked around the house. I sat up and ran towards the door. I was about to open it when Damon came through with bags in his hands.

" Oh good your up, lets go make some dinner. " He smiled and walked away towards the kitchen. I stood there breathless, not knowing what I should do, but deep down I already knew my only choice.

_**AN: I lied. I updated! Tell me what you think. **_

_**So last week I skipped school but I just discovered school is canceled for this week so I'll probably be updating sooner then expected :) **_


	14. Never too alive to die

_**You want your independence**_

_**But you wont let me let you go**_

_**...**_

_**But I'll take my time if you want to**_

_**And I'll give you whatever you need**_

_**And I'll wait a lifetime to give it to you**_

_**-Center of Attention by Jackson Waters.**_

BPOV

After I caught my breath and realized what exactly just happened I walked into the kitchen. I sat down on a stool and watched as Damon moved around the kitchen. I was off in my own world thinking. I was thinking about if I should leave and then thought what was so wrong with Katherine coming back? I made it clear I couldn't be with him...no matter how much I want to. I had to admit I was falling hard for Damon Salvatore. But things are different now. Am I being selfish? Maybe it would be a good thing if Katherine came back. But would I be able to handle it?

" Damon can I ask you a serious question?" Damon turned around from the stove and looked at me curiously.

" I guess. " I decided to just go for it.

" If there was one person in this world you could be with, I mean be with. Like together,no strings attached who would it be? " He looked obviously a little confused at where this was coming from.

" Blake I've told you already how much I like you. "

" Damon, don't play games. We already both know that out of anyone, with no rules, no questions asked, that you could be with it wouldn't be me. You've been with what, every girl in Mystic Falls. Your reputation is enough to say that there is that one girl out there but you just cant have her." He turned around and went back to stirring something on the stove.

" What makes you so sure it wouldn't be you. I thought you let your intuition proceed my reputation . "

" I'm 100 percent positive it wouldn't be me. Would it be Katherine? If she came back right now and asked you to forget about all the years you spent missing her and to just be together, you're saying you wouldn't jump at that? " I watched as his back stiffened and then relaxed. I knew I was being blunt about Katherine but I wanted answers, I needed answers.

" I don't know Blake. Why does it matter? "

I just sighed and mumbled " It matters more then you know. ". I probably should of kept my mouth shut.

" What is with all the Katherine talk? You've never said a word about her before. Why all of a sudden are you pressing the issue? "

" Because I was just wondering..." I needed to make up an excuse.

" I was just thinking, If I could be with anyone in the world with no strings attached it would be Justin. It will always be Justin. " When the words came out it hurt. It felt like each word stung my heart, yelling at me of how much of a lie that was. He went very still and stopped moving.

" Figures." I could hear the anger in his voice. " I don't even know why I try." He turned around and faced me. " Will I ever be good enough for you? I'm doing my damn best to get you to trust me again, for you to understand how much you mean to me. How can you not see that? I'd do anything for you and you act like I just don't care! "

" Damon it's not that. It's just I want you to admit that you still want Katherine. Just admit it. All I want you to do is admit it! " I started screaming at him.

" Why does it matter? "

" Because you do want her! If we were together you'd be comparing us constantly! You want her, not me! All I'm doing is replacing her for the time being! "

" That is not how it is Blake! I've made it clear that I want you! What do you want me to say? "

" Well what if Katherine wanted you. Who would you choose? "

" You know what Blake if this is how things would be I'd probably choose her! " I went silent after that. I knew I basically provoked him to say it, but that's all I needed. I jumped off the stool and wiped away the tears that unconsciously fallen during our fight and walked up stairs. I grabbed my stuff, throwing it in a bag and went to the door.

" Where are you going?" Damon appeared right in front of me.

" I have to leave. I'm not staying here anymore. I don't want to stay in this town. I don't even wanna look at you. "

" Look I didn't mean it. "

" Damon, if I could get Katherine back for you, would you want that? If I could guarantee it. What would you say? "

" I'd say screw it. I don't want her." I looked into his eyes to see the same confusion from earlier.

" Well I'm in a situation. I want you to choose for me. What sounds better? You being with Katherine, having your happily ever after and we could still be friends or Katherine and me not being around, for good. "

" I don't like any of them. "

" Damon I have to choose. "

" What is going on Blake? I don't understand. " I didn't know what to do. I had to convince him to let me go.

" You mind as well just be with Katherine, Damon. Because me and you will never be. " A could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I did my best the blink them away. All I wanted was to be with Damon. All I wanted was him forever. But that couldn't be. A long as Katherine was around, I'd never be good enough. Fate had other plans.

" No, Blake. Why not? I'll do anything. Just give me more time. Just let us be friends and let me win you over all over again. I'll remind you of how things used to be. Why cant you just try? "

" You'll disappoint me. Things are better off this way. " I walked around him heading towards the door.

" So what is this?

I turned back to him and did the only thing that felt right in that moment. I kissed him hard and fast. It felt like it lasted forever but ended too soon. The kiss was filled with goodbyes and unexplained pain. The pain I could never tell him about. The pain that I kept bottled up afraid that when it came undone I'd give him everything I had left. I just didn't trust him enough to not break me even more. But I wanted to and in that kiss, that is how I said everything that will have to forever remain unspoken.

" This might be... This could be... " I couldn't finish my sentence. I just rested my forehead on his. He opened his eyes and looked at me. " This is goodbye. "

" Your just leaving. There's nothing I can do? " I can't believe how unfair life is sometimes.

" I don't want to. But it has to happen Damon. You like me. But you still love Katherine. "

" Why Katherine? What does she have anything to do with us"

Our foreheads were still pressed together. "She has everything to do with us. I met her. She's everything I'm not. "

" But your everything I want. " I closed my eyes and pulled away from him.

" She said if I didn't leave you alone she would take you back right in front of my eyes. I know I told you all I wanted was to be friends but now I'm admitting it. I like you just as much as you like me. I want you so much. I want to say so much more but..." I looked into his eyes to see him shocked, then hurt. and then understanding finally over coming him.

" You don't have to say anything. I get it. " I knew he wouldnt fight for me because Katherine was involved but that didn;t mean it hurt any less. I walked to the door and he didn't move.

" Goodbye Damon. "

I walked out the door, not planning on turning back. I was halfway down the drive way when I heard Damon shout my name. I turned around to see him running towards me. He ran to me and stopped about 5 feet away.

" This cant happen! It doesn't need to. We were supposed to be... bonding tonight and now your just leaving. "

" Damon you have to realize- " He stepped forward and filled the gap between us cutting me off with a kiss while cupping my face. It wasn't like before, it was brief and gentle. When it ended he started talk with his lips gently brushing against mine.

" I don't just like you. I've grown to care about you more then myself. I would rather spend forever with you then anyone else. I'd do anything for you. I'm completely in love with you. I love the way you laugh at yourself when you try to be funny. I love that chipmunks freak you out more then me being a vampire. I love that you put everyone before yourself. I love that you don't even know how completely amazing you are. I love that you take all the shit I give you, and I love that fact you made me love you. I'm not making the same mistake I always do. I'm not letting you leave me! "

I was speechless. I never thought I'd hear something like that come from Damon. I dropped my bag from my hand and just stood there. I knew I loved him. More then I could of ever loved Justin. I just didn't know what to do. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around him and sighed in his shoulder.

" Do I really need to say anything back? "

" Yes. "

" I never thought I'd tell you this, because it would let you in. You saved me from my emptiness and I might of ... sort of... kind of... have completely fallen in love with you. "

"That's all I ever wanted. " He smiled a genuine smile, which was rare for him. I couldn't help but smile back. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him. Still hugging him as tight as I could. We walked back into the house and he sat down on the couch. I was sitting on his lap playing with the buttons of his shirt with my head resting on his shoulder. We both were being quiet, waiting for the each other to say something. " If you leave me now, it will break my heart. It makes me sick to even think of you not being around. "

" I'm not going anywhere. What about Katherine? "

" I don't know. "

" What are we? "

" I don't know. "

I sat up and looked at him. " Have thoughts completely escaped you? "

" I just don't think we should jump into anything with Katherine being around and we cant be like this. " He said motioning between he two of us. " Around Stefan and Elena."

" So what? Am I just supposed to pretend nothing happened and act like before? "

" Only to every one else, not to me. As long as Katherine is around we can't have that target on our backs. It's not fun. "

" Okay I guess we can be a secret. " I was pouting and took a deep breath. I lifted my head and smiled. " Whatever you have on the stove smells really good. "

" Really Blake? Your thinking of food...again? Oh yea I forgot, you get all beastly after naps. " He stood up and grabbed my hand. " Come on, I'll feed you. "

_**An: I hope you liked it. Give your opinions please. It creates motivation:)**_

_**Review!**_


	15. This love will be your downfall

_**That is no way to live**_

_**That is no way to love**_

_**Full of fear in your skin and the weakness is giving in**_

_**...**_

_**Stabbed in the back but you feel no pain**_

_**You're as bright as the sun and as bold as the moon**_

_**I don't know when you'll break but it's going be soon**_

_**- Salt Skin by Ellie Goulding.**_

**BPOV**

It's been two days since I talked to Katherine and we've been walking on egg shells since then. I was worried that she'd do exactly what she said she would, come back and take him. Damon kept reassuring me over and over again that it could never happen. I didn't know what was going to happen because I didn't actually leave like she wanted me too. We are just trying to fool her into thinking were just friends and the way Damon was acting lately I probably would of believed it if I didn't know the truth. He has rarely been around me when Stefan was home or Elena was over and if we go out into public he barley says a word to me. It was driving me crazy. Stefan drove me to school, when I got home Damon wasn't even there. I trust that Damon is doing all of this for a reason. And if I was being completely honest lately my insecurities have been coming out whenever I think of Katherine. I'm not stupid, this girl obviously has some power over him. No matter how many times he says she doesn't matter I always feel like I could never compare to her.

Damon and I were strolling down the isles of the grocery store picking out random things. We haven't said a word since we got here and my annoyance for it was building up inside of me.

" I need a job. " I said while looking at the price for instant rice.

" No you don't. You can just live off of me. " I rolled my eyes and put the rice back and kept moving down the isles.

" You know how I feel about that. I don't like asking or taking anyone's money. I never have. " He was slowly trailing behind me looking at every item on a shelf. I turned around to look at him. I was so annoyed by how dull our conversations have been lately. " When is this going to stop? I never get to talk to you anymore. I never see you. Do you know how hard it was for me just to get you to go grocery shopping? "

" Blake this is not the place or time. " I huffed while turning away and went back to looking for things that were on my list.

" Whatever." I mumbled under my breath and went for salad dressing that was on the top shelf and I could quite reach. Damon walked up and easily reached it and brought it down for me. I put it in the basket I was holding and Damon didn't move at all.

" You know I don't like how things have been lately. " He gently swiped away a loose hair off of my face. " It wont be like this forever" He said looking into my eyes. It was hard not to smile.

" Damon! " I heard Stefan's urgent voice coming from behind me. Damon instantly moved away from me not wanting to be caught being so close. I immediately missed the warmth of his presence being right next to me.

" What are you doing here? " Damon said confused.

" Um. I need your help with something. Blake will you be okay finishing up by yourself? " Stefan looked towards me.

" Sureeee Stefannn. " I said in a little bit of a higher voice trying to hide my irritation with the whole ordeal.

" Sorry Blake." Damon said while walking away with Stefan.

**DPOV **

Stefan came busting into the store and made me leave with him. I was so pissed off.

" What the hell Stefan? This better be important. " I said while getting into his car.

" It is, Damon. Katherine wants to talk to you."

" What!" I wasn't expecting that. All these possibilities were going through my head. Did she find out about Blake and I. That's impossible Blake and I aren't anything. Is she really going to try and come back and ' win me over'. I felt very vulnerable. It made me want to puke. I don't get... vulnerable. That just sounds crazy.

We pulled up to the park and I gave Stefan a questionable look.

" I don't know why she picked here. Probably because it's public." I got out of the car with Stefan following.

" What do you want? " I said as we walked up to Katherine sitting on a bench.

" Stefan you can leave. " I looked behind to see Stefan a little shocked but then I saw his persistent side show. I gave him a look saying he could go and he slowly backed away, looking at Katherine with no trust in his eyes. " Oh sweet innocent Damon." My attention went back to Katherine as she was circling me slowly dragging one finger across my chest.

" What do you want Katherine? " I said again while grabbing her hand and pushing it off of me. Her smirk just widened.

" Damon, I feel bad." She was pouting, it didn't suit her very much. " You know I'll always love you. Even if I did favor Stefan more, you will always be in my heart." She whispered in my ear. I pushed her back, really not in the mood for her games. "I just feel like I needed to tell you something. I talked to Blake the other day. May I add, she is quite pretty. " She said while she backed away from me. "She thought I was Elena. She was tired and confided in me. She was saying how your relationship was getting too much for her. She said she had to leave." She is such a lying bitch. That's what she does.

" Your lying. " I said in disbelief.

" She still thought I was Elena. She was going on and on about how sad she has been. She said she thought you were helping but now your just bringing her down. She was talking about ending it all. Such a sad, sad story." Katherine was pretending to actually pity her. It was just building up my anger. It doesn't sound like Blake. I know she is making this up.

" Do you really think I'm going to believe you?"

" I'm not asking you to believe me. I just thought you should know. Maybe you should pay more attention to her. I've been keeping my eye on you guys. You just suddenly stopped being together 24/7. Fishy, don't you think? "

" That's because you threatened her. We are just friends Katherine and you scared her. "

" Is that what she told you? See Damon when I finally told her it was me and not Elena. She practically begged me for a way out without breaking you heart. I gave her one. I told her to tell you I would never let it happen. I told her to tell you I was making her leave. But really Damon. It was all her choice. You may not believe me. But when you go home to her tonight. Look into her eyes and see if I'm right." Katherine disappeared. I looked around but she was gone. I wasn't a fool. I wasn't going to fall for this. I knew how Katherine worked.

**BPOV **

Now that I was all alone in the grocery store, the loneliness started crashing down on me again. It felt like when Damon and I were actually just friends we spent more time together, actually we did spend an abundant more amount of time together then. Now that we are...well I actually don't know what we are. Things are... we aren't together yet. Its more like we are waiting for each other and we won't be with anyone else because we both know where our heart are. But I've been so lonely and could feel the old depression I was in slowly becoming more apparent. Damon has been gone so much he hasn't even noticed.

I walked down the last isle and I felt the familiar pang of being on my own of how it used to be when I lived with my mom. It felt like after this I needed to go home check on my mom, and clean up my house and go on living my old life. Like I never even met Damon and this was all in my imagination. Because this feeling of only relying on myself was starting to bring back the emptiness I've possessed for so long. I could never admit this to Damon. I could never tell him how much my happiness and sanity actually relied on him. I knew all too better not to have your whole world be held up by one person who could easily destroy it, even though I knew all consequences I couldn't change anything. I didn't choose Damon to become my everything, it just happens and there is no going back. I know he says he loves me but I know for a fact that his whole world doesn't rely on me. If I weren't around, he'd move on. I could never say the same for him. I depended on him more then I should.

I decided to switch my attention to finding out what to make for dinner. I've been making dinner every night for them, even though they don't need it they sure do get excited when its ready. Our dinners usually were filled will witty banter between the boys or just plan comfortable silence. I decided I'd make Shish Kabob for dinner. The process took a while but it would help get my mind off of things.

I quickly paid for the stuff and went home trying to get there fast so I could start dinner. I got home and set up everything and started to go to work. I was in the middle of cutting the peppers when I heard someone come in through the door. I put the knife down and practically ran to see who it was. To my disappointment it was only Stefan.

" Oh, hey Stefan. " I said clearly disappointed.

" Sorry I'm not Damon. "

" Where is he? "

" Oh he went to get a drink. You know Damon being Damon." I felt sick to my stomach. I know Damon and I cant see each other a lot but him willingly doing something else that was so useless when I could see him and fill that little hole for a little bit, that was burning through my chest.

Trying hard not to let it show I changed the subject. " Wanna help me with dinner? I need you to stab some vegetables for me." I said while trying my best to smile.

" Sure. " He said while actually smiling. Because he has reasons to smile. He can be with Elena all he wants and I can't even be in the same room as Damon. I was violently cutting the peppers staring down Stefan who was clueless to it as he happily put some mushrooms onto a skewer. I decided I was being ridiculous and chilled out a little.

" So how was your day? What was so big, that you had to steal Damon from me. " I tried to act like I was joking but inside I was dead serious.

" Well I'm sure Damon has told you about Katherine. " Yea I had to meet the bitch too. But you just can't know that.

" Mhm. "

" Well we had to deal with some of her problems she has been causing. She came to me today and we were talking and she wanted to speak with Damon. " I froze.

" Wait so the whole time you guys were gone you were with Katherine? And now Damon is at a bar drinking his sorrows away? " I couldn't believe I didn't put two and two together. He obviously was upset about seeing Katherine. He didn't even come home to me so it was obviously because he was still in love with her and seeing her was just bringing it up. Now he probably felt guilty for leading me on. He probably was at the grill with Katherine. He wasn't even thinking about me. Katherine was winning him back.

" Yep." I was trying to calm myself down before I went into a full blown panic attack and all I would have is a confused Stefan to help me. I went back to putting pepper onto skewers with the meat. "I left like right away. She didn't want me there when they were talking so I don't know what all happened but he texted me right before I got home saying where he will be. "

I was off in my own little world thinking about all this new information. I was putting another pepper onto the skewer when I noticed it was a little harder to get through. Still thinking about all that's gone down I didn't notice how hard I pressed onto the skewer. I pressed into it so hard, it shot right out of the pepper stabbing right into my hand. It started bleeding everywhere and the tears came fast. All I could think about was the pain. Stefan immediately noticed and his eyes flashed red and veins appeared all around his eyes. The adrenaline started pumping through me and I yanked the skewer out of my hand. It hurt so bad but I couldn't think about that right now. I grabbed a towel and held it against my hand and backed away from Stefan giving him some space. I backed up against the fridge and did whatever I thought was necessary. I opened the fridge to see Damon's blood bags and then Stefan's animal blood in water bottles. Trying my best to not actually think what was in it, I grabbed a water bottle and chucked it at Stefan who caught it with no problem. I watched as he jugged it down and his face slowly went back to normal.

" Are you okay?" I asked while still keeping my distance.

" Yes. Better question, are you okay? I'm much more worried about you right now. " He said while walking to me and grabbing my hand.

" Stefan don't tempt yourself. I'll just wrap it up real good and-"

" No you need to go to a hospital. " He said while cutting me off.

" Stefan I don't have insurance or anything. I don't have that kind of money for the ER. Just help me wrap it up and umm I don't know. " His eyes were glued to my hand as he carefully took the blood soaked towel off my hand. I turned away not wanting to look at the damage.

" I'm sorry Blake but that's not just going to heal with a bandage. "

"Then what are we going to do? "

I watched as his brow furrowed and he looked me in the eyes. " I can take it away. If you trust me enough."

" How?" I asked not following.

" If I give you some of my blood you will heal. " I vaguely remember Damon telling me about this.

" Is it gross? " I said really not liking the idea.

" If I'm being honest them, yea. It's gross in situations like this but you will end up liking it. But not as gross as your hand right now. " I cringed a little.

" Okay, just make it quick. " I watched as his hand went to his mouth and he bit it. He brought it down to my mouth forcefully not giving me time to reject it or change my mind. It tasted exactly what I thought it would. I was squirming and just wanted it to be over. All my thoughts about it being nasty vanished and I wanted more. Before I knew it he took his hand away.

" was disgustingly delicious. "

" It's a required taste. " Stefan said while chuckling a little and getting me some water. " Hows your hand now? " He said while holding a glass of water in his hand. I looked down to see it perfectly healed just a little redness where it went through but that should go away probably.

" Wow. " Talking brought back the taste in my mouth so I grabbed the water and quickly rinsed out my mouth.

" I think you're done cooking for the night. You go up stairs and clean yourself up and I'll finish dinner. Damon should be home soon. " I was about to go upstairs but then changed my mind and walked back to the kitchen standing at the corner.

" Stefan? I was just wondering can we keep this between you and I? Damon would just flip out." His eyebrows rose in confusion not really understanding where I was coming from.

" Sure Blake. Not word. " I smiled and went back to the stairs.

I went into my room quickly taking off my clothes and shoving them to the bottom of the laundry bin. I heard someone coming up the stairs so I quickly threw on some clothes and ran out into the hallway. Damon was standing there a little shocked by me just appearing. I want to just run up and hug him and never let go bit I then remembered what Stefan told me. I felt the smile drop from my face and I just walked but Damon not saying a word to him. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time I was walking down the stairs.

I helped Stefan set the table and we all sat down for dinner. It was silent for a while in till Damon's voice chipped in pulling me from my thoughts of how messed up of a situation we were in.

" So what did you guys do when I was gone? " Damon said while taking another bite from his food.

" Oh nothing. Just made dinner. " I said quickly before Stefan could talk. Probably too quickly. Damon just looked at me funny and went back to eating.

After dinner we were all sitting in the the living room. Damon was reading something while Stefan was texting someone and I sat there in silence. I watched Stefan get up and walk to the door. I ran after him. " Wait." I caught his attention and he turned towards me away from the door.

" I just wanted to say thank you for before and you know keeping it on the hush hush. " I gave him a hug and he stood there still but warmed up to it.

" What? " I moved my head to see a very bewildered Damon. I let go of Stefan and walked to the stairs not looking at Damon. I heard stefan go out the door clearly wanting to get out of here as fast as he could.

" Um. I.. umm Nothing. I'm going to bed. " I said while quickly going up the stairs.

" Blake." I turned around to see Damon standing at the edge of the stairs he started following me.

" No one is around, we can spend some time together. " He said while smiling. I wanted to smile back and be with him but what Stefan told me changed things. He bent down and put his lips on mine. It's like when he kissed me he could taste my pain. He immeadiatly backed away and gave me a confused look.

" I'm tired. " I said while looking at my feet. I didn't want to be around him right now.

" Blake?" He said while taking my face in his hands. "Are you okay?" I tried to move out of his grasp but I couldn't. His eyes were burning into mine.

" I'm perfectly fine Damon." I said while fake smiling.

" No you aren't. I know your fake smile. " I frowned. Damn him for knowing me too well.

" I've just been a little sad lately. I want to go to bed." I turned away and this time he let me go. I walked up the stairs with silent tears flowing freely. I turned before I went into his room to look at his face. It looked like someone just slapped him across the face.

**AN: So I was going to put this into 2 chapters and then thought whatever. This was a VERY important chapter. Next chapter I'm really excited for! Some drama going down. **

**I think this story might be coming to an end in like 5 chapters but that is not official. I may or may not go with this other idea I have but that makes the story longer. The idea I really really want to go with, is probably going to make you guys hate me. So I'm iffy. **

**Review! **


	16. You're way too young to fall apart

_**I force this hate into my heart cuz its my only friend, **_

_**my lips are sewn shut, I watch my self bleed, they push and pull and its killing me within**_

_**throw it all away**_

_**I keep on screamin but theres really nothing left to say**_

_**-Sell your soul by Hollywood Undead.**_

BPOV

I went up the stairs leaving Damon behind. I walked in the room expecting it to be dark. I just wanted to fall on the bed and disappear. To my surprise all the lights were on. I remember shutting them off when I changed out of my bloody clothes before. I looked around confused. I guess Damon must of done it. I walked into the bathroom to wash my face but when I got there the light was burnt out. Figures. I tried flipping it on again but I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I leaned outside the door of the bathroom looking around. I didn't see anything. I walked out of the bathroom looking around the room.

" Hello?" I said out loud. When there was just silence I felt stupid. I rolled my eyes and went to the bed. My eyes must be playing tricks on me. Right when I got under the covers the light in the bathroom magically turned on. I thought that was burnt out. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I flicked the switch off and turned around.

" Katherine..." Katherine was sitting at the chair in the corner of the room.

" Blake. " She said with just as much hatred as I did.

" What are you doing here? " I said now a little bit nervous.

" Do you know how many times I get asked that? I can't wait till everyone finds out they wont get an answer." She said while playing with something in her hand.

" What is in your hand? " It slipped out before I realized what I was saying.

" Now that, I will tell you. " She moved her hands and threw whatever it was to me. I caught it easily and saw what is was.

" Painkillers?"

" Yes Blake. See Damon thinks you've been in... pain. I just thought it was appropriate." I was confused and looking at the bottle. It was full and brand new.

" Why would Damon think that? "

" Oh because I told him." She said while smiling. " Now before you can ask why, I'll just tell you. It's all part of my plan. " She got up and started to walk to me.

" Your plan to what?"

" You'll soon figure it out. In a couple minutes... You know I was always fond of Stefan. He is so sweet. I couldn't resist. The things he does... I just love. Like giving innocent girls vervain to protect them from his big bad brother." She started to circle around me. I felt like prey. I reached for my bracelet with vervain but remembered I didn't have it anymore. Stefan broke it. My eyes went wide in fear. " But you weren't smart enough. Tell me Blake, what happened to your bracelet? " She asked sarcastically.

" What-what are you gong to do? "

" I gave you a warning and you took my generosity and threw it in my face. So now I have to deal with you. But I'm not going to do anything, you are." I was taking deep breaths. She was standing behind me now. The bottle of pills was no longer in my hands and I was starting to freak out even more. "You are going to stand still." She said in a hypnotic voice. I then tried to move. I couldn't. I tried so hard but I just couldn't. A tear escaped as I was forced to do whatever she says. I could hear her twist the cap off the bottle and spill the pills onto her hand. I felt her lips come up to my ear and she whispered " Now you're going to swallow." The hand with the pills was on my mouth shoving them down my throat. I swallowed. My eyes were squeezed shut. My mind was screaming at me to stop but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything at all. When I swallowed every last one of the pills I opened my eyes. Katherine was in front of me now. " Now you're going to wait ten minutes then go down stairs and be with Damon. You're going to tell him you love him and your sorry. You will not tell Damon what just happened."

I heard myself repeating the words she just said. I was going to die. Katherine was making it look like I was committing suicide. I looked around and noticed Katherine was no longer here. I tried to move but I still couldn't. For what felt like forever I was stuck in the same position. After a while I went to move and I could. I went to the door and ran down stairs. Damon was sitting on the couch hunched over with his hands in his hair.

" Damon! " Damon jumped up from the couch alarmed by the distress in my voice.

" What's wrong?" He said while rushing to me. I opened my mouth to speak but no words were coming out. I stood there with my mouth open shoving air out of my lungs that would not form the words I want to say. I could feel the tears wet my face and I couldn't see any longer. I was breathing erratically panicking at the solution of this. Death was coming, there was nothing I could do. I felt Damon's eyes on me.

" I-I'm sorry." The words came out of my mouth without me realizing it. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. Then it slowly started to die down. I was starting to feel weak and all I wanted to do was lay down. I felt my legs wobble and I leaned against Damon.

" Blake I don't understand... Oh my god, what did you do? " I could hear the panic in his voice now. I slowly slid down to the ground and Damon sped down next to me. I could feel light thumps in my chest.

"I love you. " I didn't need Katherine's compulsion to say it. I felt tired I wanted to close my eyes. I started to drift a little. I could feel light slaps on my face and Damon's muffled voice but there was nothing I could do.

DPOV.

Blake was dying in my arms. I heard her heart slow down and could feel her body slightly shaking. What is going on? What did she do? I looked all around her body for any visible damage. I didn't see anything so I picked her up quick knowing I had to take her to the hospital. Less then a minute later we were outside the ER. I went running in the building with Blake limp in my arms. I screamed for help and people rushed around me.

" What happened?" a doctor asked as they took her away from me and put her on a gurney.

" I don't know, she was just crying and she collapsed saying she was sorry." I watched as they took her down a hallway. I went to follow but I was pushed back. The doctor left and I was standing there alone.

I was breathing hard. Never once in my life have I felt so sick. I want to go bust in there and see what's happening. I was pacing back but forth in the lobby. No one has come out to talk to me yet and each minute was killing me. The same doctor I talked to before came out of the doors and walked to me.

" Is she okay? Did she make it? What's going on? " The questions poured out of me.

" Sir are you family?"

" Yes. " I lied. I needed information now.

" Well her heart stopped for a while. Her stomach was being pumped and it just failed. But she ended up waking up after a couple of minutes right when we thought she was gone and about to give up. It was a close call. I don't know how well she will be. She will probably have brain damage or liver problems but that's not official. "

" Wait? Stomach pumped? Brain and liver damage? What happened?" I was so confused,

" She overdosed and by the amount she took, it seems it was intentional. " It felt like my heart stopped.

" So you're saying she tried to commit suicide! " It didn't sound right. I was freaking out and for once I didn't care if I was supposed to be calm and collective. This is Blake we are talking about. Katherine was right. She wasn't happy. She did want to end it all and I was so stupid.

" I'll let you be alone. I'll come back to give you updates but later a nurse is going to need her information, will you talk with her? " I nodded my head and he left. I sat down thinking about what just happened. Why was it the only thing in my life that made living berable, didn't even want to go on existing anymore. Was I really that blind to this all? I sat there thinking of all the things I could of done. Maybe, this was all my fault. Maybe I have to let her go. I took my phone out and called Stefan.

" Hello. "

" Stefan you need to come to the hospital. It's Blake." I heard rustling into he background.

" I'm leaving Elena's. I'm coming right away." I hung up and waited for awhile. It didn't take long till Stefan appeared.

" What's going on?" he said looking angry and nervous.

" Stefan she overdosed. Tried to commit suicide." His mouth opened in shock. " Stefan?"

" Did her heart stop?" The words rushed right out of his mouth. Why would he ask that? My brow furrowed and I looked at him suspiciously.

"Yes. But shes back now." I saw his eyes go wide and then he looked around biting his lip.

SPOV

We may have a problem.

_**AN: I'm a horrible, horrible person. Sorry it took so long to update! Oh and I haven't thanked you guys in a while. Thank you so much for all the support.**_

_**I was super excited to write this chapter. Was it okay? Did you like it? **_

_**Just so you guys know Damon still doesnt know that Stefan gave Blake blood and Stefan is now making connections that if his blood is in her system and her heart stopped...Dun Dun Dunnnnnn.**_

_**REVIEW!**_


	17. With a sad heart I say bye to you

_**You'll never be what is in your heart  
Weep little lion man,  
You're not as brave as you were at the start  
Rate yourself and rape yourself,  
Take all the courage you have left  
Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head  
but it was not your fault but mine  
and it was your heart on the line  
I really fucked it up this time**_

_**-Little lion man by Mumford and sons**_

_BPOV_

I felt so weak. It felt like I was tied underwater and I was trying to pull free and every time I just reached the surface the ropes got tighter leaving me there to drown with air only inches away. I felt myself push harder and harder but the harder I pushed the further I was being pulled into the water. I kicked and squirmed and before I knew it I was being pulled down into the abyss. I opened my mouth giving up ready for the water to fill my lungs and take me away. The moment I opened my mouth instead of water my lungs filled with precious air. I breathed fast and hard I opened my eyes to fluorescent lights beaming. I looked around frantically. There were several people around me. There was a loud beeping noise and one guy was taking his hands off of my chest.

"She's back!" Everyone rushed around to see me. I felt like I was on display and everyone wanted a view. I looked around in horror. What happened? I felt cold and hot at the same time. I felt this burning run through me. It felt like when you run ice cold hands under hot water. I picked up my hand and it was shaking. I was breathing heavier and panicking.

"What's going on? Is her machine broke?" Another person came up beside me and looked at some weird device next to me. That's where the beeping was coming from.

"It must be. She is obviously still living." Some guy pressed a button and the beeping stopped. I felt someone gently touch my arm and I whipped my head in the direction. It was a woman who was dressed like all the rest. I could feel a vibration come from her. I could...smell her. What is going on!

"Welcome back." I opened my mouth but before words could come out the door in front of me busted open. It was Stefan? He rushed forward and almost everybody in the room swarmed him.

"You can't be in here!"

"I'm sorry you have to wait in the waiting room." Everybody attacked him and I could see he was annoyed.

"I can be here. Now please give me some time alone with Blake." He must of compelled them because the demands for him to leave were silenced and one by one they left the room. "What did you do Blake?" Stefan was furious. "Why did you do it? Damon thinks you tried to kill yourself and you miraculously came back, but I know better!"

"Stefan it's not what it looks like." He was immediately in my face studying me.

"You're in transition." He confirmed.

"What? No no no! I don't want to be like you! Make it stop! Can't you reverse it!" He sighed and leaned back and sat in the chair next to me.

"It doesn't work that way. But hey, if you want to die... You can. "

"I don't want to die!" I was horrified. He said it so casually.

"Then I'll be right back. Beware Damon might come barging in and we are going to talk about this when I get back! "

"Where are you going?" I sat up not wanting to be alone.

"To get you some..." He let me fill in the blanks and I was disgusted. Ew! He went through the doors leaving me by myself. I was going to be like Damon. My heart sunk. I never wanted this. I don't want this. I felt a couple tears fall down and I heard the door creak open. I didn't look up. I knew it was going to be Damon. I knew what he thought and he was so wrong. I never had such a reason to live in till Damon came into my life. Why would I take that way now? I heard Damon sit on the seat Stefan was just sitting in only minutes ago.

"Damon..."

"Blake..."

"I swear it's not what it seems! I didn't do it! I didn't!" It was rushed out and didn't take the effect I wanted it to.

"Shh. Blake. It's ok if you did... actually no it's not. "I tried to interrupt him but he gave me a sharp look to just shut up. "I was told I should be watching you a little more carefully. I guess I should have taken the advice. You were sadder than I thought. I thought you were happy. I understand if you don't love me." I could tell that took a lot for him to say. "I don't understand why you led me on, or why you didn't just leave that day when you lied about Katherine." What! Are you kidding me! "It would have been easier than killing yourself. I mean you were so unhappy with me the only way out was death. How pathetic. It says a lot more about me then it does about you." How could he think that?

"Damon you have it all wrong!" I was determined to show him how wrong he was. Just because he was hurt so many times doesn't mean he should just expect that from me. He doesn't even hope anymore. "Your just scared Damon. You know I didn't try to... kill myself. I didn't! I was happy! I was happy with you, yea I've been a little depressed and lonely lately but that was because I've been missing you! It was Katherine! She did this!"

"Blake just stop lying! Don't you think you've done enough of it? I'm not going to put you through anymore of this. I get it Blake. I'm letting you go. Be who you want to be. I never meant to make your life so miserable and if it saves your life then I don't want you in mine. I don't want to be the guy you feel like you have to stay with. I don't want to be the guy who loves the girl who never loved anyone expect for a pile of bones six feet under. And that's who you are Blake."

"So you're basically saying you don't want me now because you think I tried to kill myself because being in love with you was so unbearable. Seriously Damon?" Tears were flooding my eyes and I was getting pissed. How can he not believe me!

"I don't want you Blake." I tried looking at him but I can't stop shaking. He did not just say that to me. He did not just confirm every fear that has ever ran though my head. 'Don't you get it? You're incapable of being loved!' Justin's words were screaming at me. I felt like I was in a trance. No way. I thought I meant something to him. I thought he was my everything. I know I'm not good enough but he could at least... not make me feel worse. I don't want to be lonely again. I don't want to be empty inside again.

"Damon I don't think you even had any concern whether I lived or died. You're making excuses, this is just your escape. Admit it!"

"Fine, I admit it. This is my way out."

"Goodbye Damon." I just couldn't do it. After those words I couldn't fight for him. I couldn't breathe. I didn't want to go on living. I didn't want Stefan to come here and damn me to earth forever. Damon sat up and went for the door not even looking back. I watched him leave and I mumbled "How could you do this to me?" He looked back to me with sorrow written all over his face. I watched a mask appear right before my eyes and he went through the door slamming it behind him. Justin was right all along. I was never capable of being loved. "I get it now Justin."

This headache was killing me. I just wanted to wake up from this horrible dream already. How am I supposed to live without Damon? I belong to Damon. He belongs to me. Simple. Why did everything have to be so hard? I feel dead. Technically I already am. But maybe life is not for everyone.

Stefan crept into the room. He must have overheard.

"Why didn't you tell him?" I didn't look up or even at Stefan.

"He will never know Stefan. Never. He can't. Don't you ever tell him!" Stefan didn't say anything for a long time. He tossed something on the bed and I looked at it. It was a blood bag. I finally looked at Stefan and he nodded in encouragement. I took it and looked at it. I felt my stomach churn but not in a bad way. I can't believe I was doing this. I opened up the bag and tasted the blood. It was disgusting. I squeezed me eyes shut. I didn't want to take anymore. "Are you sure I need this? Maybe I'm not going to become like you."

"Blake you are. Take a long sip and you'll realize how amazing it really is. I did as he said and I felt it. I felt power surge through me. I felt alive when only seconds ago I felt so dead. I could feel every bit of strength I had magnify all the way to the tips of my fingers. I closed my eyes enjoying the feeling. I felt my jaw ache and become thick. I opened my mouth at the feeling of it getting too crowded. I sucked the bag dry and I flipped my head back sighing in relief. That was amazing. I turned my attention to see Stefan wide eyed.

"You need to get me out of here before they realize something is wrong with me."

"Time for an escape plan." Stefan smiled at me and I couldn't find it in my heart to smile back. Not when I just lost everything... again. Surprisingly the pain wasn't even dulled. It hurt more then I should have ever let it.

"Where am I going to go?"

"You're going to stay at the boarding house." He said it like that was the most obvious choice.

"Really? You'll let me stay with you still? I don't want to be a bother."

"Blake I won't let you go through this alone. And Damon, I'll take care of him."

"Stefan I'm so scared." My voice was shaky and I put my face in my hands. I felt Stefan come up and wrap an arm around my shoulder pulling me into him.

"It will be OK Blake. Everything will be OK. I promise."

Nothing was going to get better. I may have just begun my life but anything that made me happy or worth living forever, just walked out the door.

_**AN: I'm so so so sorry I haven't updated in so long. My laptop broke. I'm sorry that this was kind of depressing. There's only a couple more chapter left and it's done! I will be so upset. This story is kind of like my baby. It was my first legit story on here. But anyways tell me what you think!**_

_**Review!**_


	18. That's just the way it is

_**So don't you leave me by my lonesome to exceed my reputation**_

_**cause I have one**_

_**well I am what you see**_

_**I am not what they say**_

_**but if I turned out to be**_

_**could you love me anyway**_

_**Stading anonymous**_

_**hoping your heart will just wake up to ask for me by name**_

_**-You'll Ask For Me by Tyler Hilton**_

BPOV

I was coming home from the hospital today and I was really nervous. I'm basically going to be living with my sorta-ex, that I'm madly in love with. That just screams awkwardness. Stefan has been really supportive. I really didn't like him too much before but it was hard to stay mad at him when he has been the only one there for me. I haven't seen Damon since that awful day that he broke my heart. Stefan said he told Damon about me staying there and Damon was fine with it. I knew Stefan was lying, Damon would of had a fit about it. Plus I knew Stefan's lying face now.

Thankfully it was nighttime and I could leave now. I was being pushed in a wheelchair heading out the doors. This whole process was ridiculous because I've never felt so energetic and alive in my life. I jumped up right when we got outside and thanked the nurse while practically running over to Stefan. I wanted to get as far away from this place as possible.

"How does it feel to be free?" I looked back at the hospital so happy I didn't have to be caged there but the sinking feeling of the boarding house being my next prison didn't make this as enjoyable as I wanted it to be.

" It feels... great." It didn't sound too convincing. I turned back to Stefan and we went to his car. The ride back to the boarding house was too quick. I wanted it to be longer. I was dreading this. We pulled up to the house and Stefan got out and started walking to the doors and stopped when he realized I was still in the car. He came to the door and had to practically rip me out of the car in till I gave up. I followed after Stefan taking my time walking to the door. He walked right through, leaving the door open for me to go in. I poked my head in looking in each direction. When the coast was clear I timidly walked in. I followed Stefan into the kitchen and saw him leaning against the counter looking at something.

" Stefan I'm hungry."

" Oh I'll make you someth- Oh wait, I keep forgetting." He opened the fridge and tossed me a blood bag and I caught it faster then I planned on it. I looked at my hand surprised.

"This super speed thing is not easy getting used to. Where are the knives?" I looked around the kitchen for something I could cut the bag with. Just because I could, doesn't mean had to ravage on the bag. I can still act like a lady. Stefan pointed to island in the middle of the kitchen and I saw they were right in front of my face. I walked forward and took a small knife out of the holder while cutting a tiny hole in the corner for the bag. I brought it up to my mouth about to indulge when I heard the door slam and foot steps coming our way. I quickly chucked the bag over my shoulder and started playing with the knives, like it was ordinary.

Damon walked in throwing his keys on the counter about to walk out of the kitchen when he noticed me. He clearly didn't expect me to be there because he did a double take. He made eye contact and slowly walked to me. When he was close enough he reached his hands out taking the knife holder into his hands. I let go of the knife I was holding onto and he picked up the holder.

" I don't know if your a repeat offender." He turned around walking out of the kitchen with the knives in his hands not looking back. I heard Stefan sigh and I looked in his direction. He was watching the whole thing.

" Why don't you just tell him the truth Blake?" I turned around searching for the blood bag I tossed and found it in the sink, only of couple drops spilled out. I took a large gulp and looked back to Stefan. " And you still have to tell me why you did it?" I put the bag down looking down the hallway to make sure Damon wasn't around to hear. When I didn't see him anywhere I hopped up onto the counter.

" Ok, this is what happened. One day, when I was still pissed off at Damon for him being a mega jerk, I met that horrible bitch you once loved. Katherine." Stefan's eyes went wide not expecting that. "She basically went all jealous ex girlfriend on my ass and scared me enough that I was going to leave Damon alone. When I left, Damon confronted me and my whole plan to leave seriously twisted in weird way and we ended up making out and barring our souls to each other." I purposely made it over dramatic not wanting to get too personal. Stefan's face held no shock in that what so ever. " Then we decided we had to keep, whatever was going on between us a secret."

" Oh Blake, it was so obvious."

"Well I'm realizing that not with your perfectly calm demeanor. But anyways Katherine knew too and she showed up in my room and basically compelled me to commit suicide but, it really wasn't suicide because she shoved the pills down my throat." Stefan's eyes were wide. "We seriously can't let her know I'm alive. She had no idea you gave me your blood. Neither does Damon. I'm not telling him because he already made his choice. The last time I tried convincing a guy I was the one, when they already decided I wasn't just broke my heart even more."

"Blake this would change everything!"

"Stefan it wont change anything. I hate it, but I accepted it." I walked out of the room just wanting to be alone now. "It's easier this way."

SPOV.

I couldn't believe what I just heard. This changed everything. Damon thought he was making her unhappy. I already messed up there relationship enough, I had to fix it.

I pushed off the counter searching for Damon. I found him in his usual space, right in front of the fire.

"Damon?"

"What?"

"I have to tell you something." I walked next to him trying to get his attention. He looked up at me to go on. "Blake didn't try to kill herself, it was Katherine. It's been Katherine this whole time."

" Did Blake tell you that?"

"Well... yea." I didn't see how it made a difference but knowing Damon he's find a way.

"Then it's a lie."

" Damon has she ever lied to you before?" I already knew the answer. Blake never lied about things this serious. " Do you really believe that?"

" Katherine said she wanted a way out, that she was tired of living and being with me and then she tried to kill herself. What am I supposed to believe?"

" Obviously not Katherine!"

"If Katherine wanted Blake dead, she would be dead. It's plain and simple." All I wanted to do was scream at him how Katherine succeeded. Blake died. But I promised I wouldn't. I gave up. I couldn't do it anymore. No matter what I told Damon he always found the worst in it.

"You know what Damon, you have a girl that loved you for once. You have to stop making excuses before you go back to having regrets and being alone. Because you will be alone. It's plain and simple." I mocked his words while leaving the room. I prayed that he just thought about it. Damon deserved to be happy for once, now it was just waiting till Damon decided that for himself.

_**AN: It's technically Monday! **_

_**It's almost over :( I'm thinking one or two chapters. So tell me what you think. I know this was short but if I kept going on I was afraid I'd wrap the story up too soon.**_

_**Review.**_


	19. I'd be your anything

_**The end of the century**_

_**I said my goodbyes**_

_**For what it's worth**_

_**I always aim to please**_

_**- For what it's worth by Placebo**_

DPOV

_"Blake didn't try to kill herself, it was Katherine. It's been Katherine this whole time." _Stefan's words rang through my head all night. I sat in front of the fire place with my bourbon and that's all I could think about. What if he was right? What if I made a big mistake? There was a side of me that was saying I could never be happy. I wont be happy. That it was inevitable I was going to be alone. I accept that, it's what my destiny was. I was born to be alone. It would just be unnatural if Blake had changed that. I sighed and threw my glass against the fire place. I watched as each tiny fragment of glass fell to the floor.

"Why did she have to do it?" I screamed. I was finally admitting it to myself that I was mad. I was mad at her. No, I was furious with her. I wasn't good enough and her almost dying was her way of telling me. I didn't want to be selfish with Blake. I tried to be better for her but that wasn't enough. I could never be enough. Did I ever deserve her?

I was tired with this place. I needed to get out. I did what I do best, I ran. I didn't know where I was going or if I was going to come back. I grabbed my jacket off the couch and walked right out. There was no voice in the back of my head telling me to go back. There was nothing telling myself that this was a mistake. I couldn't be around Blake. I couldn't destroy her world. I wouldn't do that to her.

I opened the door and left the boarding house. I unconsciously made up my mind I'd never see her again. This was it. I'd wait a couple years and come back when she is old and has a husband. A couple babies... I had to stop thinking about her future, because I wanted to be in it so badly. For the first time in years I wanted to be human. I wanted to give her those babies. I wanted to wipe away her tears when she cried. I wanted to be the only one she trusted. I wanted everything. I wanted Blake.

I looked up from the ground to see that I walked to the graveyard, where it all began. Where not so long ago I came across a sad broken girl crying about her friend. How times have changed... I stepped forward looking for his grave. I found it in the familiar spot I've caught her at multiple times. I looked down at the grave of the only person who could of made Blake happy. If he wasn't such a delinquent I knew she would of had a happy life. He would of given her everything I couldn't. I felt myself punch the grave without even realizing what I was doing. Cement shattered onto the ground and there was a huge dent on the tombstone. I was mad. I was mad this kid couldn't see how lucky he was. I was mad that he couldn't of just thought of her when he was taking the drugs. How could he not love her enough?

"Tragic. Isn't it?" I quickly turned around, surprised to actually be snuck up on. Elena...wait, no, Katherine was standing a few feet away from me. "The youth in Mystic Falls these days... I'm surprised there are anybody in their twenties around here. They all seem to die when reached a certain age." She walked closer to me. "I heard about Blake. I'm sorry Damon." She looked at me sympathetically but I knew better. Sympathy didn't work on Katherine.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well everyone is talking about it. Teenage death is really a conversation starter. Especially when suicide is involved." Was she talking about Blake? Nobody knew about Blake. She was alive. No one in this town knew Blake even almost died. She was a nobody.

"Are you talking about Blake?" I had to clarify.

"Yea. I heard she died. How are you doing?" I looked her up and down to see if she was serious. She was. But why would she think she was dead?

If my heart could of stopped it would have. All the pieces finally fit together. Maybe... No. I was for sure Blake was telling the truth. I just didn't want to admit it. I felt anger rush through me. I've never been so furious in my life before. I felt the anger come over every bone in my body.

"What did you do?" I screamed and ran forward pushing Katherine. She stumbled back surprised. She was clearly not expecting that. She looked up at me and the veins around her eyes appeared and I was prepared. I ran towards her, knocking her back again. She flung forward and attacked me. Her hand ended up wrapped around my neck and for the first time I was able to pry her hands off. I don't know where the sudden strength came from but I was stronger then her. For a moment I saw fear flash through her eyes then her casual facade came back.

"You can't kill me Damon."

"You're wrong Katherine." She was suddenly far away from me standing next to a tree. She was about to run in till I muttered "Coward." She stopped and looked at me. I saw the sudden rage that went through her but it wasn't even close to mine. She ran at me and at last minute I moved out of the way and she came to halt. I disappeared into the trees and watched as she was looking for me.

"Come out to play Damon. For a moment I thought you went soft. But I was wrong." She was slowly circling around looking high and low. "Please do tell how you could be as strong as me."

I flashed down out of my hiding spot pushing her against a tree. I trapped her strong but small body against me and the tree. Her back was pressed against a small stub of a branch and we both knew if I put a little more pressure the branch would pierce through her back and stab her heart.

"Any last words?"

"Damon, I'm sorry. I only killed her to be closer to you. We could be together." She took her hand and started to touch my chest. "You could have what you've wanted for your whole undead life. You could have me."

"Problem is, I don't want you anymore." Her face grew furious and she was about to attack but before she could move I shoved her into the tree and she gasped. I watched her face turn in to shock and pure pain. Grey was washing over her perfect skin and the veins under her eyes bulged out.

"Damon..." It was the last thing that came from her lips. I felt frozen. I killed Katherine. I couldn't believe it. I stepped back from her body and looked at her as she hung from the small branch. I quickly ripped the necklace from her throat and put it in my pocket.

I knew what I had to do. I had to go tell Blake how sorry I was. I raced back to the boarding house and quickly whipped open the door and searched for her room.

"Blake?" I yelled down a long hallway.

"Yeah?" I heard come from the door next to me. I was about to bust in but then I stopped. This shouldn't change anything. I still wanted everything for her. I couldn't give it to her. I still had to leave but I had to say I'm sorry. I opened the door and saw her sitting on a bed with her back to me.

"What is it Ste.. Damon!" She dropped something and stood up, completely shocked to see me there. She wiped her mouth and I knew something was off. I was immediately in front of her and took in her flustered face. "Da-Damon, you should leave. I'm...I'm indecent." She said, referring to her shorts and tank top.

"I think you fail to remember I've seen you in a lot less." I waited for a blush but nothing appeared. I frowned and touched her cheek and the familiar warmth of her skin wasn't radiating off her. Was she sick? Was it just the after affects of overdosing?

She cringed away from my hand and all it did was add to my growing suspicion. I took a deep breath to see if she even smelled the same but the only thing filling my senses was blood. Human blood. I fought back the urge to sink my fangs into something and returned to normal form. I grabbed her arms looking for some sort of cut. I was searching her in till she pulled away from my grasp a lot easier then she should have. All this was pointing to the one thing I never wanted. Never even dreamed about.

"What happened to you?" She looked away from me guilty and I searched the room. I looked on her side of the bed and found blood bags. "No." I whispered and looked at them in horror. "No, No, No!" I screamed.

"Damon, it just happened."

"Who did it?" I screamed at her. I was going to rip apart whoever did this to her. I was going to slowly kill them and make sure they suffered. I knew I had the power to do it. My rage killed Katherine. I could kill anyone now.

"Nobody did it..."

"Whose blood was in your system when Katherine tried to kill you?" I demanded. She looked at me horrified

"How'd you.. how'd..."

" I just know." I cut her off. "Now answer the question."

"Stefan. But he was just saving me."

"By damning you to hell on earth?" She gasped at my words.

"Don't talk like that!" She screamed at me.

"Do you know what this means?"

"Of course I know what this means! I've been dealing with it this whole time you've been sulking in self pity Damon!" I suddenly felt guilty. How did I not notice this before? "I've got forever. I'm sorry but you're just going to have to deal with the fact, I'm going to be around. I don't know what I did to make you hate me so much but it's not going to change." She looked so tired. Her voice cracked a couple of times as she shoved the words out.

"I don't... hate you." That was so ridiculous. It was so opposite from the truth. "I-I love you." Her face fell at the words and she held no emotion.

" You're lying." She muttered and looked at me in disbelief.

"I've never... I don't know how to handle this." I shook my head and looked down. " I really thought you tried to kill yourself. I thought it was my fault. Katherine tricked me into thinking you weren't happy with me."

"Damon I was happy! I swear I would never do that."

" I know that now but you have to realize I'm not made to be loved. I don't deserve happiness. I don't deserve you. I know you could never accept my apology and take me back but that's what I want."

"You are all I've ever wanted Damon. Please save the whole I don't deserve you thing for someone else because you'd be so selfish to leave me." I was speechless. I don't get speechless.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Please, Please stay with me. Be with me. Be my everything." She pleaded with me and I could never see myself saying no to those beautiful green eyes.

"You already are my everything." I whispered as I grabbed a hold of her and pulled her into my arms. She wrapped her body around mine and I held on tightly. This felt right.

"So what does this mean?"

"You are mine." She giggled and looked up at me. " You're going to be mine forever." I said while looking her right in the eye.

"It's a good thing we have forever then." She stepped up on her tippy toes and pressed her lips against mine. For once I was sure of one thing, I, Damon Salvatore was finally going to have a happy ending.

_**AN:The End  
**_

_**I'm so sorry it took so long to update! I'm terribly horrible! Now that's it over please, please, please review! It was my first story I ever had the balls to write and now that it's over I'm sad. **_

_**Thank you all for reading! **_

_**Oh and go check out my new story Spring Break Lover! **_

_**Review!**_


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